People have different opinions. Find what works best for you.
With #2, when I 'leave the room' - I'm standing on the other side of a baby gate for 15 seconds. I'm not going to the office and responding to emails or anything.
Our trainer says tug-of-war is fine, and pairs it with "drop it" or "give" commands to practice self-control. We've always played tug with our pup (5 m/o now), and it hasn't seemed to lead to any sort of aggressive behavior.
What time is your last potty break of the day. To me "evening" implies like 5-7 pm, in which case, I'd expect the dog would need to go out again before morning. If it's 10 or 11 pm, then it might just be a maturity issue. Your dog might just not be physically able to hold it all night yet. My pup has access to water all the time EXCEPT in his crate overnight (goes in between 10 and 11, comes out between 6 and 7). He has been able to wait to potty all night since he was about 12 wks old, but that doesn't seem to be the norm.