[Chantae]

Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

I keep hearing/reading people say, "we can't keep our dog any more because we just had a baby..." So??? I don't get why they would have to give the dog away??? It's not like you would give your first born away because you had a second child?

What's the logic behind this? The dog will hurt the baby? Even if this is the case, the dogs are always advertised as "sweet & loving."

I don't get it!

 

[Willowy]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

Babies are hideously time-consuming, and you're constantly exhausted. I can see how an active dog could put someone over the top, and I can also see it being a sleep-deprivation-fueled impulsive decision. And sometimes it's a knee-jerk thing because some people do believe that you "have to" get rid of your pets when you have a baby.

If they take care to find the dog a great new home I don't get overly worked up over it. It's when they run out and get a new puppy a few months later that I really get annoyed. . .

 

[JessCowgirl88]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

I have known some people who have given away dogs becuase the child was very allergic to the hair, and some i have heard becasue they dog was not friendly with children. I think if they are getting rid of the dog because the know its not friendly with children/babies, they should advertise it with such. I am a stickler on putting the truth on things such as animals personalities. When i had my son, we didnt get rid of our dogs, but they were very friendly.

i guess to each their own, i could see if they had a good reason.

It is tiring taking care of a infant and trying to to do everything else, from takign care of your animals, giving them time, and anythign else you might have to do. With lack of sleep and everything else and can really wear you down. I know this from experiance. i got lucky and had alot of help, others dont. I would rather the person relize they just dont have the time to give the dog/animal the attention it needs and find them a good home then just keeping them and they dont.

 

[thirdgenlxi]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

Just a lame cop out excuse as I see it, for "I'm lazy and don't want to take care of both of them"

 

[ThoseWordsAtBest]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

I think giving up dogs for a lot of reasons are ridiculous, but at the same time, clearly that person doesn't want that dog and will likely not give them the time and care they need. Why would I want the dog to stay in that situation?

 

[jersey_gray]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

Babies take nearly all your time. I have a three and a half year old and a six month old-my animals do not get nearly the attention they got before the babies came. While I did not get rid of any of my pets I am sympathetic to overwhelmed new mothers. I have three dogs and four cats, one of the cats is outside now as he started spraying after we moved here. You could argue that I should have tried to re-home him to someone who would have worked on fixing his behaviour rather than thrown him outside (the cat was altered as a young kitten, I believe the baby followed by moving triggered the spraying). You could argue it was selfish of me keeping all the pets when I literally did not have the time for them. They are just now starting to get some of the attention that they used to get a lot of.

 

[abigail1989]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

If I found out I was pregnant tomorrow I would be in very hot water. Two dogs in an apartment has already nearly brought me to the brink of insanity. I would have to a) be moved into a place with a yard b) be given tremendous support with both dogs and baby by my partner and c) pray Josie does a lot of growing up in the impending 9 months. If those expectations couldn't be met, she would most likely be re homed. Luckily, I have no plans for a baby for a good 8 years!

 

[Goldens&Labs4Me]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

Would it be a valid reason for me? No.

We have a 2 1/2 year old son--and 3 dogs. Giving up our dogs was/has never been an option for us just because we had a child.

However, I will say that my dogs didn't get as much attention when he was first born as they were used to. In a way, I'm grateful we have a fenced in backyard because had they all been in the house, I can see where that would have been overwhelming. It was nice to be able to let them out to hang out and soak up the sunshine without having to worry about them. We were concerned about our Lab at first--and she was overly interested in him--so it was also good for me to be able to do lots of small interactions with the two of them and then a safe place for her to go during the breaks.

I also had a really rough end of pregnancy/delivery--and was very sick afterwards. I couldn't even walk my smallest dog by myself for weeks after.

So while I understand how it could be overwhelming--I guess I can just be grateful that our situation worked out and my dogs are adaptable.

Now, my 2 1/2 year old is actually very helpful with the dogs. He loves letting them out of their crates, feeding them and brushing them. And when people ask me about a sibling for him--I tell him he has 3 and they all play very well together. LOL.

 

[JulieK1967]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

Just a lame cop out excuse as I see it, for "I'm lazy and don't want to take care of both of them"

Exactly my thoughts.

 

[Canaqua]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

Not in most cases. Uncontrollable dog allergies would be about the only reason for me. When my youngest was born, we had a VERY high energy and somewhat aggressive ACD mix (we still have her, 10 years later, but she's old and much more mellow now). It never occurred to me to get rid of the dog and she's not particularly good with children. It's a management issue. I plopped baby in the stroller and took he and the dog for a couple of long walks (and later runs, when I recovered fully from the section) a day...good for all of us (especially me, trying to lose that extra weight!). I NEVER, EVER left the dog alone with my son when he was young. I put up baby gates to keep them apart if I was very busy. One or the other had to be in the same room I was in at all times. We had controlled and planned interactions with me right on the floor with them. He's old enough now to understand how to treat her and she's old enough now that she's much more laid back . He walks her quite a bit now.

 

[Canaqua]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

Just a lame cop out excuse as I see it, for "I'm lazy and don't want to take care of both of them"

Yeah, in addition I think some people are overly paranoid about dirt, germs and allergies. Based on studies, though, you are doing your child a favor by brining them into a home with animals...stronger and not over reactive immune systems. Babies raised in a home with two or more inside pets are less like to have allergies of any kind, not just animal allergies. Worked for us...I have a number of allergies, but my kids have none.

 

[kathylcsw]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

I was a single parent for my son and 36 years old with a dog, a cat, and a high pressure job. It NEVER crossed my mind to get rid of my dog! It was hard doing it all alone and sometimes I literally cried because of the exhaustion but we all survived those early years! I loved my dog and cat and they were as much family to me as my son. They may have gotten a little less attention for the first year or so but they were loved and they knew that. My dog, Heidi, was so attached to me that I am certain she would never have adjusted to a new home. I feel that when you bring an animal into your home you are entering into a "until death do us part" relationship.

 

[Canaqua]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

I was on bedrest for four months before I delivered slightly early...having that dog (and a cat) to keep me company all day was a real blessing!

Cats. I like cats too and have always had at least one. Even today, some doctors will tell pregnant women to get rid of their indoor cats, due to the risk of toxoplasmosis. Mine was more enlightened, he just said have someone else change the litter box and don't work in the garden without gloves. Easy enough. I actually asked them to test me for toxo antibodies, since I'd worked at a vet's for years, chances were good I'd been infected in the past. I had been, the type of antibody showed that I'd had an infection in the past, but not a current one. I was then allowed to change the litter box while pregnant, because I could not become infected again (yipeee! Not ). Shouldn't have told my husband about the test results! But, it did ease my mind, knowing that I didn't have to go crazy washing hands after handling the cats.

 

[BassetMixUp]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

I didn't have any animals before having kids because I was somewhat aware of how insanely difficult life is with a newborn - toddler. I say somewhat because NO ONE actually *knows* until they have a baby themselves.

I applaud all the families who make it work and those who decide to rehome their animals to a loving home instead of neglecting them.

Do I think all the dogs being given away because of a new baby are actually people having babies? Heck no. It's an excuse potential adopters might have compassion for so tons of lazy people that are just "done" with their dogs use that excuse when most of the time it just isn't true.

 

[osdbmom]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

I never had dogs or any animals when I was pregnant or had little ones. Looking back...if I had, I may have had to rehome them, bc I had horrible pregnancies, the last two, I was home on bedrest wtih a PICC line and couldnt even eat or stand up for most of the pregnancies, the last one, I had to move in with my mom for a long while bc I couldnt even take care of my kids and my husband worked 3rd shift. There is no way I could have properly cared for an animal at that time....but then again, thats prolly why I didnt have any! lol
Or maybe, if you had an infant who had a serious illness.
But, I really think that the majority of the time you see this, its a new mom (prolly a first time mom) who is overwhelmed, sleep deprived, and possibly having some baby blues/post partum depression. Also, LOTS of older people who give "helpful" advice to new, unsure moms will tell them they have to get rid of their pets, esp cats. My mom is a firm believer that cats want to kill babies bc they smell like milk (????)
the sad thing is, I very often see posts on our local Craigslist that say soemthing to the effect of "last year I gave away my beloved dog/cat when I had a baby....I miss her/him so much and just want to know they are ok, please email me, I wish I hadnt made that mistake".
I think in many situations, people make permanent decisions to temporary problems.

 

[Charis]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

We do not have children yet - however we are planning - and our dogs are staying in the picture. We are looking at cars for the future (ones that easily fit car seats - mine does not) and we are looking at hatchbacks/SUVs because I need to fit multiple car seats and have a place to put the dogs so they don't meet while I can't reach everyone. We are planning on baby gates (the nursery will be strictly off limits) and the dog and infant are never going to be alone in a room together where they can reach each other. We intend to put "tie downs" around the room to secure the dog to if we must step out and the baby is in a play pen (soft sides). We intend to start playing baby noises (and gradually increasing the volume) and carrying around a baby doll when we find out we a re pregnant (so the dogs can learn how to interact with us while we are carrying an infant) and get baby items early so the dogs are used to everything being moved around.
Management, management, management and I will admit I do see people as "lazy" who are unwilling to even try managing it. We are even putting aside "dog money" in the baby fund so we can board them the first few weeks of having the baby home and put them in daycare if we are too exhausted to walk. We intend to care for them even if it includes hiring other people to do so temporarily.

The only circumstances we would consider rehoming is illness that will keep us from caring for them long term. I mean months living in a hospital kinda illness (congenital heart defects, etc) before we would even consider it and even then we would try to make it temporary (rehome on short term basis to someone we knew).
I won't say I would never rehome (never say never) however it would have to be extraordinary circumstances and I would try everything I could to avoid it.

 

[Spicy1_VV]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

Hell no. I went through my pregnancies with my dogs. It's extra work with a newborn but not really that bad. I also want my children to grow up around them and have the same love for them. I took care of multiple dogs doing and after pregnancy. The 1st time around I had virtually no helpn I took primary care of my son and for the majority of the day I took care of dogs like letting them out, feeding them and attending to a litter of pups. Without neglecting my newborn. Of course I was more tired then usual from waking up all through the night. But it wasn't such an overwhelming or impossible feat.

 

[Canaqua]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

There aren't that many station wagons on the market, but they are my first choice for kids + dogs if I don't need the high ground clearance or towing capacity of an SUV (which I don't). They handle like a car, get the gas mileage of a car, yet have that "way back" for dogs to ride in when the passenger compartment is full and I need to separate them from small children. I've got those metal grates on my wagons, that separate the back from the passenger area, they are very easy to install and keep the dogs safely in the back. Hatchbacks don't work as well because the slanted back gate doesn't have enough head room for any but the smallest dogs.

 

[Red Fraggle]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

I don't think "We had a baby." is enough reason to rehome a dog all by itself. I do understand that a baby can bring about unforeseeable circumstances that could cause one to have to rehome a dog.

I've been hesitant to bring this up around here, but I will admit I had to rehome a dog when I was pregnant with my first son. He wan unplanned and I tried everything I could to get into a situation that would be appropriate for both baby and dog and the cards were stacked against me. When I was about 5month pregnant, I made the decision to move back to my hometown for family support and was told by my Mom that I could stay with her while I looked for an apartment, but I would have only 3 days to find a place for my dog, or I would have to hand her over to a shelter. Knowing the rental market in my hometown would make it almost impossible to find a place that would allow pets within my budget and being out of touch with friends in my hometown that might be able to take my dog, I made the heartbreaking decision to leave her in Quebec with my brother, who promised to take as much time as needed to find her a good home. I was essentially facing the decision of choosing between my dog and my baby because if I had not given her up, I would have been homeless with a dog and handing my baby over to foster care. It's the hardest decision I've ever made because up until that day, my dog WAS my baby.

As it turned out, my son was a sick kid. He has mitochondrial disease and at about 18 months was diagnosed with Leigh's syndrome and we were told we'd be lucky to see his 2nd birthday. With years of being in and out of the hospital, my dog would probably have ended up neglected or having to be rehomed in the end anyways. I waited until this year (almost 10 years later) to adopt an other dog because I wanted to be sure I had a plan. I wanted the finances, a stable living situation that allows dogs, I wanted an emergency backup care plan for the dog and I have all that now. I'm the type of person that doesn't function well without a dog. I NEED a dog and I wanted my kids to have one too. It broke my heart having to give up that dog and I've regretted it every day since, even knowing that I didn't really have a choice.

 

[RCloud]

Re: Do you think giving your dog away because "we had a baby" is a valid reason?

It really depends on the circumstances I think. In most cases, I think it's BS, and I would never rehome my dogs as a result of having kids. But I know one couple who had a dog that adored them and adults but did NOT like children. I don't know what had happened in this dog's life prior to finding this couple, but holy hell was it TERRIFIED to the point of aggression towards young kids. So when they found themselves unexpectedly, they didn't have a choice but to rehome him. It's not that they wanted to or were to lazy to care for a baby and a dog at the same time. It was simply the safest and best situation for everyone. Could the dog have been trained to control itself? Maybe , but in any case they already had their hands full, and with the way this poor dog was with kids, I'm willing to wager it would have taken YEARS for it to get it's act straighten out IF it ever did.