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You could try finding a veterinary orthopedist in your area for a second opinion, or if there isn't one, a veterinary surgeon.
In terms of the questions, make a list and call your vet. They should take the time to answer all of them, and not all have the same post-op instructions. With many orthopedic surgeries, dogs require cage rest for a time to ensure they aren't stressing the joint, so in that case you wouldn't need to be by her side, but she wouldn't be able to have unsupervised time outside of her crate.
In terms of the questions, make a list and call your vet. They should take the time to answer all of them, and not all have the same post-op instructions. With many orthopedic surgeries, dogs require cage rest for a time to ensure they aren't stressing the joint, so in that case you wouldn't need to be by her side, but she wouldn't be able to have unsupervised time outside of her crate.