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Sometimes a dog is not a good fit. It happens. It doesn't make it easy on anyone. BUT, for the happiness of your family and the dog, he may need to go back.

Thinking of you while your family makes the best decision for everyone.
 

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I would not take the word of a behaviorist that never met my dog or family as a final word by any means!
I agree with this.

An assessment in person is important. She couldn't have referred you to another behaviourist that she recommends?

Three weeks is NOT a long time. I do agree that waiting to neuter is probably a good idea, simply because the trauma of a surgery may make him feel even less secure when he is still finding his footing.

It IS very possible that he is not the right dog for the family, this is always a possibility for any pet taken in to a new home.
 

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Discussion Starter #44
Its easier said than done! To take Jeter back is not an easy notion, whatsoever! Last night, once again, I mentioned it to my 8 year old daughter and she did not like it! So even though the dog is fearful of her, does not play with her, does not take treats from her, she still does not like the idea of returning him!! I asked her if she would cry if we take him back and she said "probably"! :(

So, financial aside - and there is a lot there as you may all know, we, as a family, have invested tremendous amount of emotions! I know its only 3.5 weeks but we have all become very much attached!

This morning, while my daughters were sleep, my wife took Jeter to my daughters bedroom. Jeter was ok till he sniffed my daughters hand and then he ran out of the room as fast as he could! So it makes me wonder if this is ever going to be fixed? The scent alone frightened him! Does that make sense?

When we brought a dog, we were very focused to bring a "family dog" and Bichons appeared to fit that profile perfectly. In know that is a generalization and that every dog has his or her own personality, but that is all we had to go with! My brother had a dog and it was a min-pin and talk about a non-social and "one man dog"! We always ridiculed him for bringing a dog like that!! That is to say, I always had a fear of that!
 

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Discussion Starter #45
In the interim we need help with one more thing:

We put Jeter in his crate somewhere between 10:30 to 11:30 PM! Then Jeter wakes up around 4:30 to 5:00 AM and starts making lots of noise, scrapping the crate, and barking to get out! He may stop after 30 minutes of being ignored but then will start all over at about 6:00 am. What is the best way to train him so that he waits and does not bark till we get him out (some time between 6:30 to 7:00 am)?
 

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I can't remember how old you said Jeter is, but if he is not fully housebroken and is still quite young, I would recommend that you get up with him in the middle of the night to take him out. If he stops fussing to be let out after 30 minutes, but then starts in again an hour or so later, it may not be a matter of wanting to play, but a matter of needing to go potty. Even if he holds it during that duration, it is possible for dogs to be uncomfortable too, and he may be expressing this discomfort.

My dog is 2.5 years old and she occasionally will wake me in the middle of the night to go out. Sometimes she wants to potty, sometimes she went to sleep too early and has renewed energy and wants to go outside to check things out. It's annoying sometimes, especially when I have to get up early for work the next morning and my sleep was interrupted, but it's like having a baby ... you roll with the punches. She woke me up this morning at 3:30am, in fact. I let her out and all she wanted to do was sit on the patio and look around. Not fun! But she will pester me to no end if I don't get up and let her out for a few minutes. The only way I can get her to stop is to sternly order her to lay down and stop, and since I don't know if she really wants to go potty or not, I don't want to speak sternly to her. She gets her feelings hurt easily. lol
 

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Its easier said than done! To take Jeter back is not an easy notion, whatsoever! Last night, once again, I mentioned it to my 8 year old daughter and she did not like it! So even though the dog is fearful of her, does not play with her, does not take treats from her, she still does not like the idea of returning him!! I asked her if she would cry if we take him back and she said "probably"!
Sometimes you have to think with your head and not your heart.. I realize how VERY easy it is to get attached to a puppy but it really doesn't sound like that puppy is a good fit for your FAMILY. It may suit you just fine, but from the way you describe its behavior toward your children, I'd honestly be afraid that the puppy would turn on them at some point, especially if the puppy is attached to you-- it may want to "protect" you from the kids or may try to become dominant over the kids in your 'pack'. The puppy's fear of the kids may never change, do you really want to take the chance of one of your children or your children's friends getting bitten? Then you not only risk the dog getting put to sleep, but also a lawsuit from the parents of the child who got bit (or a stranger who unknowingly reaches out to pet it when you are out for a walk). The puppy may be sweet and cute and funny, and the kids may "love" it~ but honestly, is it worth the risk?
Cesar Millan (the Dog Whisperer) writes on his page: "Don’t feel bad if you don’t find the right dog for you the first time out. The right dog is out there for you".
 

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I agree with what Missy says here. Sometimes we get a dog and we may get attached but find that it's not a relationship meant to be. Happens with people; happens with pets. Sometimes the proper chemistry is just not there and you can't force it.
 

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Esabet,
I'm curious now..does your daughter wear any fragrance at all? Scented lotion? It's a long shot but it COULD BE a scent issue...it has happened before.
Just something to think about.

And Infiniti has the right idea...it is very likely that Jeter REALLY has to go out. Sometimes this means (at least at first) getting up and taking him out, on leash and see if he goes. If so, reward him and put him back in his crate. If not, simply put him back in the crate and go back to bed. If it IS him needing to go, then you can gradually increase the time before you take him out...it's hard having to rely on us "opposable thumbs" to relieve themselves...
 

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Discussion Starter #50
Esabet,
I'm curious now..does your daughter wear any fragrance at all? Scented lotion? It's a long shot but it COULD BE a scent issue...it has happened before.
Just something to think about.

And Infiniti has the right idea...it is very likely that Jeter REALLY has to go out. Sometimes this means (at least at first) getting up and taking him out, on leash and see if he goes. If so, reward him and put him back in his crate. If not, simply put him back in the crate and go back to bed. If it IS him needing to go, then you can gradually increase the time before you take him out...it's hard having to rely on us "opposable thumbs" to relieve themselves...
My daughter does not wear anything scented! :( Nor does my 3 Year old daughter!

As for the crate issue, he does the same thing when we put him inside at night, so I don't really know what to say or think!
 

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My daughter does not wear anything scented! :( Nor does my 3 Year old daughter!
Do they use a different soap than the rest of the family? Like a kids soap/shampoo. It might be whatever that is as well. You may not smell it, but it might be just enough different that the dog can.
 

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Discussion Starter #52
Do they use a different soap than the rest of the family? Like a kids soap/shampoo. It might be whatever that is as well. You may not smell it, but it might be just enough different that the dog can.
Since he is OK with my son, I am going to ask my daughter to use his shampoo and body wash for a while and see how that flies!
 

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Might help. Kind of unrelated, but yet feels related-LOL, when my daughter was a newborn--a preemie--we had to use unscented EVERYTHING because preemies are so sensitive. If a human baby can be that sensitive to scent, I can only imagine what the pup can smell!
 

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esabet, I know you've already expressed that your family has formed an attachment to Jeter already, and you don't want to give him back, but I want to really commend you for doing all that you can do to find out why he behaves the way he does, and being willing to work on it. Joining this forum, asking questions, taking suggestions ... it's just really admirable to me. :)

So many dogs and puppies are returned to former owners, shelters, and rescue organizations without the owners first giving thought to why the dog is behaving a certain way or developing certain habits. And you are doing everything you can to make this puppy work for your family. :) Whether it works out or not in the end, you will know, as will we all here, that you did everything you could possibly do to get to the bottom of these issues and find solutions!

My Bella's previous owner told me that Bella had been returned to her FIVE TIMES for various (IMO, silly) reasons when she was trying to rehome her, most of which I no longer remember, but a few of which were: pottying on the floor, trying to escape, not obeying commands. ALL of these issues could have been due to the "adjustment" period that all animals have to go through, and could have been resolved with some patience, training and willingness to work with her. In the end, I am glad these five families returned her because she is just absolutely PERFECT for me and I wouldn't have had her otherwise! :D
 

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Discussion Starter #55
We took Jeter out yesterday and I saw him interact with another dog.

While the other dog (a Pomeranian) was barking, jumping up and down, dragging its owner across the street to get close to Jeter, Jeter was just standing there, looked at her and sniffed her once and then stood 100% still!!! He did not bark, he did not sniff the other dog - he was simply not moving at all while the other dog was all over him!

Is there any significant to this behavior?

By the way, my wife did mention a week ago that when her friend came over with her dog, Jeter behaved exactly the same. The other dog was much smaller than Jeter.
 

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With the whining in the crate problem....

This is what we used to do with our puppies when we were little! When you put her in bed at night, just cover the crate with a blanket. This will tell her that its "nite nite" time, and that she needs to go to bed.

I just got a bullmastiff puppy a couple of weeks ago. She did the same thing. I just covered the crate with a blanket, and she stopped whining at early hours in the morning. If she does now, then I'll know that she really has to go potty, and not just wanting to get out and play. I've also put some of her toys in there for her to chew on, and she does perfectly fine.

I've never heard anywhere where this could be harmful.... we even did it for our bird that would just not shut up through out the night lol.
 

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Discussion Starter #57
Hello everyone;

This is an important update.

As you may recall I had mentioned that Jeter had begun to bark at my 8 yr old daughter. Well that did not go away and in fact on Saturday he straited to growl at her.

Interesting enough I got a phone call from Parvene Farhoody as a she was following up. I told her that we have decided to keep Jeter and try to work with him at which point she offered to have one meeting with us. As yo may recall before she had said that she did not have time for us but knowing the situation she really felt like she wants to help us out as much as she can.

We met Parvene on Sunday and she spent over 3 hours with us. Let me first say that she was incredible.

Regretfully her conclusion was no different than what she had told me over the phone the other day. She thought it would be best for both Jeter and my family to take Jeter back to the breeder!!!:(

She felt that ultimately Jeter may become more and more aggressive and even bite my daughter, a notion that when we told the breeder about, she became VERY VERY upset and thought it was crazy!!

Irrespective of that she felt Jeter will need lots and lots of work to buildup his confidence and to accept people! During the entire visit Jeter had his tale down even though Parvene was giving him treats constantly. She also noticed how his stand was in the "ready to run" position!

So, bottom line, Jeter is going back. I can't tell you how sad we all are but it could be the best decision for all of us!

The breeder does have a new litter and she did offer us to have a look at her new litter even though they have all been spoken for. She said the new litter is from a different blood line and that made us happy as Parvene felt that Jeter may possibly have a genetic disposition! (B.T.W. She has ONLY girls and am not sure if it really matters. In the past I was only looking for boys fro some reason! Does it really matter?)

We may be crazy to consider getting another pup from the same breeder but, I have to say it again, she does not sound like a "bad" breeder. But again I don't know anything!! :confused:

NOW, most important of all, I also like to take this opportunity to thank you all for participating and supporting us and I make sure to post once we have gotten a new pup!!!
 

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Well, esebet, it is probably for the best. Don't feel bad ... you did your best, and you worked hard to make it work...it just wasn't a good fit for your family. Jeter is simply a jumpy pup and would probably fare better in a one-person (adult) household that has low-level activity. That's just how it goes sometimes. Good for you that you did so much, though! There are many that would go that extra mile!

As for girls vs. boys, that's a personal call. I prefer girls, others prefer boys.

"Males are more prone to marking and aggressive behavior, but neutering can greatly reduce these behaviors. Males also have a reputation for humping people, objects, and other dogs. Most of the time this is a show of dominance that can be corrected with training. Some say that males are typically more dependent on their people than females. This often makes them more affectionate toward people. Male dogs have a tendency to be more eager to please during training, so they are slightly easier to train.

Female dogs are not as likely to mark their territory, which often makes them slightly easier to housetrain. They are also less likely to show dominance through humping people or objects, and tend to be less aggressive than male dogs. One drawback of female pets is that they tend to be very independent, which means they may like to have time alone, and they might not always want to be touched when you want to pet them. They can also be hormonal and moody. They can also be very stubborn, making training a bit more challenging." (Source http://www.essortment.com/hobbies/maledogsvsfem_tuxu.htm)

I don't think it's an issue to go to the same breeder, necessarily, if you have faith in the breeder. Sometimes a temperamental pup is born.
 

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Discussion Starter #59
Thank you for the reassurance and for the info.

Well, esebet, it is probably for the best. Don't feel bad ... you did your best, and you worked hard to make it work...it just wasn't a good fit for your family. Jeter is simply a jumpy pup and would probably fare better in a one-person (adult) household that has low-level activity. That's just how it goes sometimes. Good for you that you did so much, though! There are many that would go that extra mile!

As for girls vs. boys, that's a personal call. I prefer girls, others prefer boys.

"Males are more prone to marking and aggressive behavior, but neutering can greatly reduce these behaviors. Males also have a reputation for humping people, objects, and other dogs. Most of the time this is a show of dominance that can be corrected with training. Some say that males are typically more dependent on their people than females. This often makes them more affectionate toward people. Male dogs have a tendency to be more eager to please during training, so they are slightly easier to train.

Female dogs are not as likely to mark their territory, which often makes them slightly easier to housetrain. They are also less likely to show dominance through humping people or objects, and tend to be less aggressive than male dogs. One drawback of female pets is that they tend to be very independent, which means they may like to have time alone, and they might not always want to be touched when you want to pet them. They can also be hormonal and moody. They can also be very stubborn, making training a bit more challenging." (Source http://www.essortment.com/hobbies/maledogsvsfem_tuxu.htm)

I don't think it's an issue to go to the same breeder, necessarily, if you have faith in the breeder. Sometimes a temperamental pup is born.
 

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Esabet, I am so glad you managed to get an assessment done on Jeter. The decision you have made is likely the best one for all involved, including Jeter.

I do look forward to hearing about your new pup when he or she arrives.

Good luck.
 
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