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It sounds like you're trying to reward him with petting, but if he's shying away from hands and showing you submissive signals when you pet him, he's likely actually not enjoying it. So, essentially, petting and praise could actually be punishing him for doing the right thing, whether that's pottying or coming to you. Try really stinky treats he loves, and you may need to drop or toss them to him instead of bending over to hand them to him, just to avoid looming for the time being. As he gets used to you, learns you won't hurt him, and bonds, you may find praise and attention becoming more rewarding to him, but for now you're still scary strange giants that may do unpredictable things.

As for pottying in the house, it's very possible he was punished or yelled at for pooping inside in the past, which can absolutely create a dog that hides to do his business. Basically, when this happens some dogs will learn "pottying in front of people makes the scary thing happen" and not "pottying in the house makes the scary thing happen". Crate training is a really great way to address this, because you're basically making it impossible for him to sneak off to potty. But if and when you do find accidents, make very sure not to yell or act upset, just clean up with vinegar or an enzymatic cleaner for pet messes (so it doesn't smell like a toilet to your pup's nose) and try to adjust your management so it doesn't happen again.

I would also avoid picking him up whenever possible. Treat him like a 40lb dog, even though he's 4 lbs. Use a leash to gently guide him when you have to (no dragging ofc) - harnesses are really good for tiny dogs with delicate necks, but you may have to work up to one depending on how comfortable he is being handled. Lure with treats. Rig up ramps in spots if he can't get up and down stairs well (if possible, ofc). Essentially, lifting him is a bit like cornering a scared animal. You're taking away most of his ability to move freely and defend himself if he needs to. It makes a lot of dogs uncomfortable, and tiny dogs who are picked up a lot often have their "I don't like this" body language ignored until they escalate to snarling and biting. IMO, one of the main causes of the stereotype about little dogs being nasty and bitey.

Good on you for taking him in! He sounds like a sensitive soul, so just have patience while he gets to know you and starts to get more comfortable being part of your family.
 
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