[FromLongIsland]

I have two boys, 8 and 4. 8 year old is wonderful with the dog, as expected. The 4 year old; not so much.
He always is ready to play with the dog and throw her toy for fetch, but sometimes my 4 year old kicks the dog or plays rough to the point that dog is always watchful and not relaxed with him. My wife is at the end of her rope and she is ready to give up the dog for dog’s sake.
Are there technics to use to protect the dog? I perhaps should be posting to a naughty 4 year old forum than here ;-)

Thanks in advance for your advice.

 

[Kayota]

Teach the child not to hurt the dog. He's old enough to understand.

 

[Bear2010]

Child needs spanking each time he does anything to the dog or any animal that he shouldnt do.I have 3 kids,,ages 24,18 and 12 all growed up with animals..so I speak from experience.
(and I am ole fashioned,sorry..spare the rod spoil the child,yes I still believe in spankings)

 

[aiw]

I don't think you necessarily have to go with spankings but you have to set boundaries about behaviour and very strictly enforce them. If your child continues to abuse the dog one day she might decide to defend herself (you probably would too if someone was kicking you). The child and dog can NEVER be left alone together, even for a moment. This could be a good opportunity to teach your son about animals and the compassion and respect they deserve. If you can't control the child though you need to rehome the dog.

 

[PatchworkRobot]

If you don't want to spank your child you could use other training methods.
If the child is rough with the dog then remove them from eachother. If he can't play nice than he can't play with the dog.
If the child is playing nicely with the dog then give him a treat, like an M&M or a Skittle, to reward the good behavior.

You can train children just like you can train dogs.

 

[huskysmiles]

Just make sure that you make the consequences tangible every time your child hurts the dog. First, explain that the dog isn't happy because she is frightened of him and that she doesn't want to play. Try to use examples he will understand and put him in the dog's position. If his older brother wanted to play with him but was hurting him, would he like the older brother to play with him? Make sure that he knows playing with the dog is a privilege that he must earn and can be taken away at any time. Make sure he knows how hurting the dog makes mommy feel. Even if he doesn't understand that what he is doing is wrong (he should understand it is wrong, although he might not understand why) he will definitely not be okay with making mommy feel bad.

 

[aiw]

What if we added in some selfish motivators... playing nicely and gently earns a treat, hurting the dog earns a timeout or no dessert.

 

[So Cavalier]

Child needs spanking each time he does anything to the dog or any animal that he shouldnt do.

There is no reason to respond with violence towards your child. Yes, he needs to be taught to treat the dog respectfully.

I don't think you necessarily have to go with spankings but you have to set boundaries about behaviour and very strictly enforce them. If your child continues to abuse the dog one day she might decide to defend herself (you probably would too if someone was kicking you). The child and dog can NEVER be left alone together, even for a moment. This could be a good opportunity to teach your son about animals and the compassion and respect they deserve. If you can't control the child though you need to rehome the dog.

Just make sure that you make the consequences tangible every time your child hurts the dog. First, explain that the dog isn't happy because she is frightened of him and that she doesn't want to play. Try to use examples he will understand and put him in the dog's position. If his older brother wanted to play with him but was hurting him, would he like the older brother to play with him? Make sure that he knows playing with the dog is a privilege that he must earn and can be taken away at any time. Make sure he knows how hurting the dog makes mommy feel. Even if he doesn't understand that what he is doing is wrong (he should understand it is wrong, although he might not understand why) he will definitely not be okay with making mommy feel bad.

Yes! this!

A four year old is plenty old enough to understand that kicking the dog is not appropriate and that it hurts the dog. You need to be firm with him. I have a 19 year old and a 23 year old. They have never lived in a home without dogs. They were taught from the beginning how to treat animals with respect and compassion.

 

[HollowHeaven]

I am also a firm believer in spanking. I don't find it to be abuse, I don't classify it as violence. I believe there's a difference between spanking a child who refuses to listen and beating -which people seem to just merge together with spanking.

HOWEVER, that's a different argument, so VVVVVVVV this down here may be the best way to go.

If you don't want to spank your child you could use other training methods.
If the child is rough with the dog then remove them from eachother. If he can't play nice than he can't play with the dog.
If the child is playing nicely with the dog then give him a treat, like an M&M or a Skittle, to reward the good behavior.

You can train children just like you can train dogs.

You really, one way or the other, need to set boundaries for the child. Do not allow your child to be rough with the dog. This will enable you to keep your dog and keep both the dog and the child safe.

 

[Willowy]

Wow, hurt a kid to teach him not to hurt a dog. . .people astound me sometimes.

 

[Kayota]

Wow, hurt a kid to teach him not to hurt a dog. . .people astound me sometimes.

quoted for truth

 

[titiaamor]

My nephew- now in college- was liek this with his sister's dog. I kept pointing out, over and over, how the dog was afraid of him, the dog didn't like him, etc. The yearning to be liked is a strong motivator, and I believe it could work for you as well. (He was 4 at the time- just started college at CSU!)

We also did some positive things- he could hold the leash while we walked, got him to give treats while his sister or mom trained the dog, etc.

I'm a little surprised that DW would like to surrender the dog rather than find a peaceful solution for your entire family. It made me feel sad.

 

[Roloni]

Wow, hurt a kid to teach him not to hurt a dog. . .people astound me sometimes.

Makes you ..and me also wonder.

 

[ThatOneDog]

I would highly recommend teaching the child not to hurt the dog, as opposed to getting rid of the dog entirely. By removing the dog, you are punishing your older child for the actions of the younger child, and that's not setting a good example in the long run. Teach your child to be gentle with the dog, reward him with candy or praise when he's nice to the dog. Set him in a time out or remove the dog when he's kicking or harming the dog, and reward him when he's kind. You're going to want to teach your son to be reasonable around animals, not just for this dog, but for your child's sake as well. You may end up in a situation where your son will irritate another persons dog, and end up injured.

 

[aiw]

I am also a firm believer in spanking. I don't find it to be abuse, I don't classify it as violence.

So we should treat-train our dogs and smack our children...???????

 

[HollowHeaven]

So we should treat-train our dogs and smack our children...???????

Annnd here we go.
I'll end it on my part with dogs and children have one huge difference: children fluently understand simple language, dogs do not. When a child is told to stop doing something, it's pretty easy to assume they know what the words 'no' and 'stop' and 'quit' and other similar words mean. By the age of the child in question, the child should certainly know these words by now.

I was spanked as a child for being foolish and ignoring what I was told, and after I got that spanking, I didn't do the wrong again. I didn't go curl in a corner and weep uncontrollably and I'm not laid back in a therapist's chair bawing about how mommy and daddy spanked me as a child.

Yes, there is a line that should not be crossed and too often parents cross it.
I think too many people have a warped view of what spanking is. Not everyone who spanks their child beats the crap out of them.

 

[Willowy]

I was spanked as a child for being foolish and ignoring what I was told, and after I got that spanking, I didn't do the wrong again. I didn't go curl in a corner and weep uncontrollably and I'm not laid back in a therapist's chair bawing about how mommy and daddy spanked me as a child.

But I did/am. . .or I should be, but I can't afford that kind of therapy. And, no, it wasn't abusive/beating/etc. Some people are just more prone to being traumatized, I guess.

I just fail to see how one can teach their kid to be kind and compassionate by smacking them. Seems counterproductive.

 

[mashlee08]

Personally, I don't think people can pass judgement on a parenting style or idea unless they are a parent themselves or kindergarten teacher or early childhood worker etc. But that's just me.

I do however think the OP needs to give the child timeouts or something for bad behavior and maybe a sticker ( i love stickers) chart or a similar reward system for good behavior.
All this after explaining to them the dog doesnt like it etc etc. I think most of it has been covered .

 

[aiw]

Spanking a child is similar to using leash-checks and smacks with a dog. Its hypocritical to condemn one and accept the other. Language is not a reason to accept spanking a child but not smacking a dog, if anything the fact that language is available means there are other means of communication and punishment. Also, in my view the standard of behaviour with our children should be much higher than with our dogs, not the other way around. All the reasons people cite here constantly about not getting physical with your dog applies tenfold with children as far as I'm concerned. Some people use leash-checks and spanking, everyone makes their own choices in raising dogs and children. It just drives me crazy to hear people yell about leash-checks in one thread and suggest spanking in another.

My parents spanked us kids and I have never felt injured or traumatized by it... Still doesn't mean it was right.

 

[spotted nikes]

Regardless of how the Op decides to punish, I would definitely punish the child for hurting/attempting to hurt the dog. And compliment him when he is being gentle. Also, never leave the two together unsupervised (by that I mean the dog and kid have an adult's undivided attention...not mom cooking in kitchen while dog and kid are in dining rm. Things can happen in an instant, and a parent needs to be able to stop it before it happens.