Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?
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Thread: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

  1. #21
    Senior Member Ella'sMom's Avatar
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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    My puppy is only 4 months old but it really did take me some time to fully bond with her. She had to adjust to our family, and we had to adjust to her. Now I really can't imagine life without her.

    Anyway, I think you should rehome your puppy now while he is still young. It's easier to place a young pup then an older dog. While I agree with others on here that a dog should be for life etc. Only YOU know your situation and none of us can judge you. You seem to know what's best for you and your family.

    I wish you the best of luck and I do hope that you find happiness in another dog in the future.

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  3. #22
    Senior Member Max'sHuman's Avatar
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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    I really feel bad for your situation. It sounds like you are the kind of person who really wanted to do the right thing. It seems like the injustice for him (the dog) started from the day he was born. The breeder sounds extremely irresponsible. I think part of the lesson here, as northern lights said, is to research where the pup comes from and pick a reputable breeder. But I would also examine really hard if your family is really ready for a dog right now. It sounds like guys are so busy and want the love of a dog but might not be ready for the work one requires. At least I would suggest getting an adult dog or something.

  4. #23
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    Lightbulb Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    I do not feel it's a bad idea to find your pet a new home but, I would look into all the alternatives before making that decision. Your pet has grown to love your family but, if you are unable to keep your family together and work around the new challenges you are facing, then, your pet deserves an environment change. This will not be easy. Think of it as placing a child up for adoption. The next faimly may or may not value your pet the way you do. This could be better or worse. Good luck.
    I would not rush into getting a new pet & consider Adoption from your local animal shelter. Please do not take your pet to the shelter.

  5. #24
    Senior Member FriendsOfZoe's Avatar
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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    I'm surprised no one's suggested this...have you looked into doggy day care, or at least a dog walker? Sounds like you've got a good dog who just has way too much energy. I kept up with my high energy golden retriever puppy all summer, but now that I'm back in school she is going to day care 4-5 times a week because I don't have the same amount of time to make sure she gets exhausted every day. It can be a bit expensive but is so worth it if it works for your dog. She loves going there all day, and I come home at the end of a busy day and get a tired dog to snuggle with. Lots of dogs need more exercise than one human could possibly give them. Just getting in good play and running time with other dogs could make a HUGE difference.

    I don't know what your financial situation is, but I would at least look into it and maybe give day care a shot for a few days before you make any final decisions.

  6. #25
    Senior Member valleyview1955's Avatar
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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    OH MY GOD, that is such a great suggestion Friendsofzoe!

    Yes, doggy daycare, a play group, some place where the dog can socialize and run amuck for hours on end!! Getting the physical and mental energy out would be the first step. See if it helps, then have the "should I rehome the dog" conversation at a later date, like in a month or two.
    "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs that I have known will go to heaven, and very, very, few persons. " - James Thurber



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  7. #26
    Senior Member Taz Monkey's Avatar
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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    You said you did your research, but you obviously did not do much as you say you have 4 kids and no time to properly exercise the dog. You should have figured this out before you got the dog. A boxer is an eternal puppy. Please rehome the dog. He does not deserve to be miserable because of your mistakes. I realize I am the only person reacting negatively to this, but a dog is a family member. You take on a dog for life, not just until it gets too hard and you want the easy way out. Your kids are going to grow up and think that pets are disposable, which is not going to help the current shelter situations. A dog does not train, or exercise itself. You have to take it on walks, train it, even if you have to get up 3 hours early and go to bed 3 hours later...this dog is a living, breathing thing who did not ask to be brought into your home.
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  8. #27
    Senior Member Dakota Spirit's Avatar
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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    Quote Originally Posted by Taz Monkey View Post
    I realize I am the only person reacting negatively to this...
    Nah, the majority of the posters reacted in this way. Its just a matter of staying civil about it



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  9. #28
    Senior Member Ella'sMom's Avatar
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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    Quote Originally Posted by Taz Monkey View Post
    You said you did your research, but you obviously did not do much as you say you have 4 kids and no time to properly exercise the dog. You should have figured this out before you got the dog. A boxer is an eternal puppy. Please rehome the dog. He does not deserve to be miserable because of your mistakes. I realize I am the only person reacting negatively to this, but a dog is a family member. You take on a dog for life, not just until it gets too hard and you want the easy way out. Your kids are going to grow up and think that pets are disposable, which is not going to help the current shelter situations. A dog does not train, or exercise itself. You have to take it on walks, train it, even if you have to get up 3 hours early and go to bed 3 hours later...this dog is a living, breathing thing who did not ask to be brought into your home.
    Wow I have to say this is a good post....a bit harsh but well said. Even I think I got something out of it. It's been a little tough lately because our yard isn't fenced in and we have to take Ella out on a leash etc. Lately no one in my family wants to do this...and sometimes it's tiring even for me. Reading your post has made me realize that I took this on and it's not fair for Ella to get yelled out because she peed on the floor because no one wanted to take her out. Dogs are a lot of work and shouldn't be a novelty. I am not knocking the OP - I think she did try - and she should rehome this dog. WIth 4 kids and a boxer I can sort of understand her dilemma and am not judging her. I do think though it's sad for the dog.

  10. #29
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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    Friend's of zoe is so correct with her advice. Please give this pup another chance. Your main problem I fear is that he is badly bred...but that doesn't mean you can't turn him into a loving companion for yourselves. First, you should have been taking puppy classes with him, they teach so many useful things on how to handle a puppy's behavior. But since you've missed that, I would suggest running to the closest obedience class in your area and register for the pup's sake and yours. Boxers are always a bit hyper even under the best of circumstances, so please give him a chance...you can't just discard him like an old shoe. The mistakes were on your part, now is the time to rectify everything. It would be such a bad example to set for the kids to find the pup another home...as if dogs are as disposable as garbage. Your pup needs to learn the basic commands and he needs lots of free running exercise to help him realize the difference between play time and quiet time.
    Training will take care of just about any issues you have...I'm pleading with you to not abandon this little creature that already loves all of you...I've worked for shelters and have seen so many animals brought in from people who took second hand dogs. If he's too much for you, the other family might feel the same way and just dump him somewhere.

  11. #30
    Member Moose's Mom's Avatar
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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    I hope you decide to give your pup a second chance. Boxers almost always end up being such wonderful dogs. They just need training and an outlet for their endless energy.

    My Moose is 1/2 boxer, 1/2 border collie-chow-etc. Other than trying to trip the kids when he plays with them, he's all boxer. And HYPER.

    Boxers tend to get a little rough in play when they're excited and my kids get fed up rather quickly with that. Is that what your kids are having a problem with?

  12. #31
    Senior Member nlkeple's Avatar
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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    Quote Originally Posted by texasmomma View Post
    I keep thinking this is one of those things where you either connect with your dog or not. Like dating somebody, you just know when it's time to call it quits. Yet, my family and I are still left with the feeling that we want a dog in our lives. Is that horrible?
    When I was younger my Dad would always said

    Sometimes you make the right decision, and sometimes you make the decision right

    Clearly if it has come to this the wrong decision was made, but it is up to you and you husband to make this decision right for this dog.

    You could probably do this with more exercise, training, and time. If rehoming is what you decide you are going to do it is absolutely your responsibility to make it right for the dog.

    Don't just give him to a nice family that thinks boxers are cute. Find someone who has well cared for and well trained boxers. See if your vet knows of skilled owner who is looking to get another dog.

  13. #32
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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    Well, what happened? I really want to know what you decided to do. I give you credit for hanging in there. I read all the replies and am half afraid to put myself out there. But here goes. I chose my breed and have successfully adopted pups from rescue groups. But this last one was impossible. She jumped out my windows, screamed like I was killing her until she broke out of the crate. If I took her in the car, she would mess in it. She jumped the fence constantly. I had to resort to two tie outs and a thirty foot leash to exercise her in the yard. I walked this dog twice a day for at least an hour. Obedience trained her and yet I couldn't do a thing with her major problems. I called the shelter over and over but I kept hearing the shock collar was in use and I knew that the dogs in my neighborhood wearing those would jump the fence anyway. My neighbors weren't understanding and the sheriff threatened to shoot her. Rather than let him do this, I returned her to the shelter. I am filled with guilt over this and don't think I will ever recover. I want another dog and honestly can provide a terrific home with lots of love and activity but these were issues I just couldn't deal with. If she had just torn up the house, I wouldn't have cared! Now I am petrifed to try and rescue another dog. A pup would be difficult now because I am working but my current dog is lonely. I am in a quandry here.

  14. #33
    Senior Member poohlp's Avatar
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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    I think the OP said 2 or 3 screens ago that she had made up her mind to get rid of the dog and she hasn't post on this thread since.

    Honestly, I think that was really her intent from the beginning. She just wanted to feel better about the decision. She didn't seem remotely interested in any of the suggestions offered and didn't want to really engage on what the problems actually were. The dog was the problem and she was going to take the "hard way out" and get rid of the dog, whatever that means. Hopefully, she will work to actually find him a home, not just dump him at the shelter and hope for the best.

  15. #34
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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    Treadmill? Just a thought.

    Occasional half days at doggie daycare as previously suggested.

    Is there a nearby dog park? If addition to fun and exercise for your dog you might find good re-homing options there is you decide to take that route.
    Last edited by tcasby; 10-22-2007 at 09:56 AM.

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    Re: Am I wrong to feel that our dog isn't the right "fit" for my family?

    Quote Originally Posted by poohlp View Post
    I think the OP said 2 or 3 screens ago that she had made up her mind to get rid of the dog and she hasn't post on this thread since.

    Honestly, I think that was really her intent from the beginning. She just wanted to feel better about the decision. She didn't seem remotely interested in any of the suggestions offered and didn't want to really engage on what the problems actually were. The dog was the problem and she was going to take the "hard way out" and get rid of the dog, whatever that means. Hopefully, she will work to actually find him a home, not just dump him at the shelter and hope for the best.
    Original poster here!

    Well, geez, thank you for thinking so highly of me.

    Honestly, I did come on here for advice. I didn't have my mind made up. I wasn't here to "make myself feel better about my decision". How presumptuous of you to assume that.

    I believe I said in my last post, that all the responses made me realize that we aren't capable of taking care of our dog the way he should be cared for. I have had only the best intentions from day one. I did (despite what some have said) put a lot of research into the breed. I do believe the mistake was made from the get go with choosing the wrong breeder. We did do puppy training classes. Our dog never was able to pick up all the basic commands. Walking him is very challenging since he's so active. Really, everything, has been challenging with him because he's so active. I've also been involved in a boxer group since before we adopted him.

    I have had to reach a point where I put the dogs best interest in mind. I would love to keep him and try harder, do the right thing, all that. But, I don't have the energy or time. Go ahead and flag me for getting him in the first place. But, I don't think it was so wrong of me to want to bring a dog into my family's life. I do want to say that I came on here for unbiased advice and got it. I just don't appreciate being judged so harshly. Obviously I care about my dog or I wouldn't have come on here in the first place.

    So, anyway, in answer to everyone's curiosity, yes we're finding him a new home. I will not dump him at a shelter. I absolutely never would do that. I will do my best to find him a new permanent family to love him.

    I'm glad I came on here and I'm appreciative of all the responses. Thank you especially to those of you who were understanding. I think I've realized I'm not the dog person that most of you are. I love my dog, but I have to draw the line here. I'm not a horrible human being because I've made, IMO, a responsible choice here by finding him a new home. I think my kids will respect this choice when they look back. Our dog is not the right fit, no matter what others may feel that means...he's just not. Better to find him that right fit, then to keep him from being in the best home he could be.

    We will not be getting another dog anytime soon. I've realized we're not ready for one at this point in our lives. I'm a really great mom and I think this has made me realize that I just can't be stretched anymore to be just as great of dog owner.

    Anyway, thanks again and please try not to be so judgmental in the future.

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