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Snag in the road ... Kind of long winded ...

843 views 3 replies 3 participants last post by  hargyle 
#1 ·
Here's the background info : I always wanted a dog, so when my partner and I moved in together we decided that when I was done school we could consider it. Well after much discussion on the matter we decided to wait ... and then one say he says to me " I think I'm going to get you a puppy for your graduation" I am over the moon happy ... in the coming weeks there are many discussions on how and IF it will work... He's a cat person, and so am I very much so, but I wanted a companion I could take with me ( I'm training to be an Art Therapist and I thought it would be nice to have a little back up inspiration). So needless to say he was reluctant from the beginning and when the time came to meet Loki I told him ... we should NOT go see the dog if you aren't willing to commit... nope it's ok we will work. So we meet the puppies and of course I fall in love with the little one who climbed right up on my shoulder.

On the way home we named him. He was going to be ours.

2 months down the road .... I feel like I have hit a snag with my partner. In the time since Loki has come home we have had many discussions on training, feeding, issues etc. But I feel like hes not in it at all ... Because ... when I come home from work the couches are destroyed... cushions everywhere... things are out of place, Loki is in his crate with NO chew toys, treats anything! Then he posts on Twitter ( i know ... ) about our up coming trip #nodogforaweekthankjebus. // for the record Loki will be staying with my mom and will be VERY well taken care of, only might come home fat! //

This frustrates me to no end ... when you leave your family for a week you should not be excited! He works shift work, so granted he is tired, but I do my best to have Loki out of the house and calm for when hes sleeping .... I am worried about his training, when Loki is with me hes a perfect angel ... and I can see when my partner is home its no holds bar .. he does what ever he wants! When I try and explain training techniques its a little like talking to the wall ....

Should I be worried about the well being of the dog? Loki is so great, but I worry about him if hes getting confused with mixed signals when I'm not around. Do I stick to my guns and just train Loki as best I can on my own? Can anyone think of an alternative to this that doesn't end up with Loki being re-homed?

I'm just frustrated because I feel like I have put everything into this after we agreed 50/50 and getting nothing in return ... I should have seen this from the beginning really ...

sorry about the rant Just not sure where else to go at the moment. Thanks for listening.
 
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#2 ·
Well, here you have a few decisions. You can sit down again and have one final hit it home "You said this and you are not doing it why?" talks. I recommend that first. If nothing improves, or if he flat out says he is not interested in the dog like he thought he would be, your decisions narrow. You can step up and take care of the dog 100% or you can ditch the dude. If you have a good relationship otherwise, I'd recommend stepping up and taking care of the dog. I'm the dog person here. My boyfriend loves dogs, but is not the care taker and is not interested in the fullest crazy extent I am. I know he loves them and does not do any thing detrimental to their lives, so I would not bail because of that, but I am content in taking care of them entirely.
 
#3 ·
I work the overnight shift. I can imagine how hard it might be to watch a dog when you are hung-over tired. Could your dog go to doggie daycare while you are at work and your partner is sleeping? Might help a lot.

My husband handles the dogs from 5 am until 7 am when I get home. Then, the dogs sleep with me until 1 or 2. Then I get up and we all go until about 11 when I go to work. This is NOT easy and wouldn't work if my husband wasn't pulling his weight. Day care might bridge the gap if need be, at least until your dog is more settled in his house manners.
 
#4 ·
See I suggested day care before and my answer was " thats a waste of money its a dog he will be fine" But I never thought of framing it in ... you can sleep and have a quiet house for a few hours. I will try that for sure ... or maybe like I said, I will just buck up and do it anyways ... its for Loki in the end really because the life of a dog is no life at all cooped up all day.

As far as ditching the dude ... not happening haha, we have an amazing relationship beyond the great puppy battle of '12. Fair suggestion though! I will talk to him tonight for sure. Thanks!
 
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