My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...
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Thread: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

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    Unhappy My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    I have a golden retriever, he is very sweet, and very easy going. I live in a house with all girls, and he has grown up around all girls...so sometimes when I go to work I will bring him to my boyfriends house so he has some company, if he isn't working.
    Well today my bf was yelling for his kids upstairs to come downstairs and Charlie (my dog) appearently got nervous hearing his loud voice, and peed. Then he got in trouble for peeing, and really got yelled at...making him pee more...AND then he even pooed!!!!! So of course my boyfriend is upset having to clean all that stuff up...and poor Charlie (my dog) got himself in trouble for no reason...

    Now, if I yell at him he doesn't get all scared, I think it is my voice, its not as deep as a mans, obviously! Anyone have any ideas of what to do? Or ways that my boyfriend can discipline him without making him pee?? He is a pretty good dog, I mean ya he doesn't listen all the time, and prefers to do what he wants...haha but other than that he is pretty good, and very sensitive!!!

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    Super Moderator RonE's Avatar
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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    I don't know if there's a question in there somewhere. If there is, you already know the answer.

    You don't yell at a dog who's already afraid. Dogs don't pee in the house to be naughty or teach us a lesson. There is absolutely NOTHING to be gained by yelling or punishing them for doing it.

    Since you ask, I'd keep the dog away from your boyfriend.

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    Senior Member FilleBelle's Avatar
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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    Yelling at a dog who has peed in the house never works. Yelling at a dog who has peed in the house out of sheer terror will only make the dog more terrified.

    For what behavior problems does your boyfriend need to discipline the dog? I can guarantee you that "yelling" is not an effective way to handle any of them, but perhaps if you tell us what they are we can offer some alternative suggestions.

    And I second keeping the dog and the bf separated. It's all well and good for the dog to have company, but I suspect it would prefer to be alone than to be with a man who scares it.


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    Senior Member Dieselsmama's Avatar
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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    Ditch the boyfriend, I guarantee the dogs more loyal LOL j/k. Tell him no yelling around the dog, obviously the poor guy was petrified
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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    The dog was not just scared by this man's yelling, he was terrified by it! Then to ADD insult to the already inflicted injury, the guy PUNISHES the dog!!!!

    Gosh.. if this guy is ever scared out of his gourd by someone and loses control of his bladder and/or bowels I hope someone punishes HIM!

    The damage is now done and it will take this man a lot to overcome this dog's fear. I would not have the dog stay with this guy alone for awhile (maybe forever). Instead, you stay there with the dog and this man will need to spend time making friends with the dog. That means speaking softly, offering food, stroking him (not 'pat pat' on the head which many dogs view as a mild aversive). The dog needs to be convinced the man will not hurt him. You need to be there as well so the dog has someone he can trust. If the dog does not seem to trust this man, or repeats the behavior, keep them separate.

    It sounds like you have a wonderful, sensitive dog. For some dogs yelling can be as terrible as any physical abuse. It sounds like you have one of those dogs.
    Last edited by Elana55; 02-18-2008 at 06:41 PM.

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    Senior Member Max'sHuman's Avatar
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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    Here's an idea....don't let your boyfriend yell at your dog.

    OK now I just noticed everyone else already said that. But yeah, assuming that maybe this was a one off and your boyfriend isn't in the practice of yelling at dogs, I'd teach him how to treat dogs and train them effectively. That said, like Elana mentioned, it will take a lot to get your dog to like your boyfriend again because your boyfriend seriously damaged that relationship.

    If your boyfriend is in the habit of yelling at his kids and your dog I'd say get rid of him. People who yell at innocent creatures have a screw loose.

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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    Quote Originally Posted by Max'sHuman View Post

    If your boyfriend is in the habit of yelling at his kids and your dog I'd say get rid of him. People who yell at innocent creatures have a screw loose.
    That. Also, if your boyfriend has spent very much time alone with your dog, I would be concerned that there may have been more going on when you weren't around, that would give your dog reason to fear this man.

    Speaking not only as an animal lover, but as a woman, my dog being terrified of somebody for no apparent reason would raise a huge red flag for me. Be careful.

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    Senior Member RBark's Avatar
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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    Not that I am defending the guy.... He's obviously got a rotten temper.

    But, some dogs are very sensitive. One of my mothers dogs will pee all the time when around me. If my hand moves too fast, if I give a expression of anything other than being happy, and so on. She pees when she hears me talking to someone in the other room.

    She was a extremely bad case (coming from a home that molested her sexually by a male about my age) so there's little I can do about it. It's often associated with fear or bad socialization. You say she comes from a home with all women? That makes sense.

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    Super Moderator RonE's Avatar
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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    One of my mothers dogs will pee all the time when around me.
    But I'm guessing you don't respond by yelling at her.

    I'm sure the OP wasn't expecting this kind of furor. It's important to understand that we are all dog lovers. Some of us aren't that crazy about people - especially people that mistreat dogs.

    Personally, I like people in general but, when I hear about someone who abuses a dog (sorry, abuse is what we're talking about here) it makes me wish the abuser could meet a dog who is a tad less submissive.

    Maybe a Plott hound.

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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    You know, I think it's normal to lose your temper and raise your voice now and then. It's something most people have done, and of course, felt like a complete ass for after the fact. The thing about the OP that doesn't sit well with me, is that when the dog showed obvious fear at the man raising his voice, his reaction was to become angrier at the dog. That, to me, bespeaks a certain personality type, and it's not a type I would want to pursue a romantic relationship with.

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    Senior Member RBark's Avatar
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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    Quote Originally Posted by RonE View Post
    But I'm guessing you don't respond by yelling at her.

    I'm sure the OP wasn't expecting this kind of furor. It's important to understand that we are all dog lovers. Some of us aren't that crazy about people - especially people that mistreat dogs.

    Personally, I like people in general but, when I hear about someone who abuses a dog (sorry, abuse is what we're talking about here) it makes me wish the abuser could meet a dog who is a tad less submissive.

    Maybe a Plott hound.
    No, I never yell at her. Or any of my dogs for that matter.

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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    Quote Originally Posted by RonE View Post

    Since you ask, I'd keep the dog away from your boyfriend.
    ^^^ Yep, that. Poor dog.

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    Senior Member Inga's Avatar
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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    I certainly agree that keeping your dog and boyfriend apart is a must. To get a dog over submissive urination you must build the dogs confidence through successes on his part. You need to set up positive training sessions designed to allow your dog to succeed. yelling at an already terrified dog is completely juvenile and getting angry when the terrified dog loses control of his bladder and bowels because of the terror is a little scary in my opinion. This is a man with children? What happens when the children spill something?


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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    And you trust your boyfriend to look after your dog?? Leave the poor pup at home next time--he doesn't need or deserve that kind of company.

    You don't need to yell. Dogs have excellent hearing and he will hear you fine.

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    Senior Member TooneyDogs's Avatar
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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    Charlie just told you something very, very important about this guy. I would go and thank Charlie.

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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    I have a feeling this isn't the first time your boyfriend has yelled at your dog...or more. Hope my feeling is wrong. I would have a talk with the boyfriend.

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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    Quote Originally Posted by TooneyDogs View Post
    Charlie just told you something very, very important about this guy. I would go and thank Charlie.
    Well said, I second this statement!!

    ITA with everyone's thoughts on this subject. Please think twice about your BF.

    Charlie is sensititve and one smart boy, he didn't deserve punishment.
    Last edited by Patt; 02-19-2008 at 02:24 AM.
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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    WOW!

    I SOOOOO wanted to say what some of you have said above (dump the guy, keep the dog LOL), but I was trying to be nice.....

    Sometimes when a person gets advice to dump the "object of their love" (usually a SO) they can get real offended... because they dcould never do that.

    However, I trust the judgement of my animals. They pick up on people and Charlie, the dog, has picked up on this guy real fast. While the dog MAY be super sensitive, he is telling you a secret.. and others here have picked up on that (while I really showed restraint.. honest I did).

    I can tell you this much... I have 4 cats. I had these 4 cats when I was married. I had these 4 cats when I got divorced. I had these 4 cats before I had a BF. I had the 4 cats when BF was discovered to be scum of the earth drug addict and cheater and I kicked him out of my life. I am now very happily single and guess what? I still have my 4 cats (who never really liked my husband or the BF).

    .. and I added another cat and Atka...

    From now on anyone I meet has to pass muster with the 4 cats, Oliver the kitten (now almost a cat) and my dog, Atka.

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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    I know this thread is ancient, but I stumbled upon it when searching for dog training advice. In case any of you are still on here, I just wanted to say that you should be ashamed of yourselves for heaping all of your conclusions on somebody because of one anecdote when he was probably at his worst.

    How many times have you had a bad morning where your kids weren't ready and were dawdling, maybe you have something important at work and they're making you late, your toast got burned or whatever, your day is going awful, you yell up the stairs that they need to hurry up, and the dog pees. Just the straw on the camels back.

    I'm not excusing his actions. Obviously it isn't right to yell at a dog when he is already terrified.

    However, it is equally reproachable to assume and insinuate that this guy is an abuser, a bad boyfriend, a bad person, juvenile, and so forth simply because of one anecdote when he could have well simply slipped. It happens to good people. I don't know the guy, he may be a jerk.

    But man, the hate you've all shown for someone you only scarcely know through one story is disappointing, to say the least. Get off your high horses, collectively.

  21. #20
    Super Moderator RonE's Avatar
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    Re: My Dog Pees when he is yelled at by my bf...

    Interesting first post, jspuds.

    Because you're new to this forum - maybe new to forums in general - I'll explain how it works.

    Someone goes to the trouble to register and request advice or opinions. She provides as much or as little information as she chooses to and, based on that information, other members will offer advice or opinions.

    In this case, that one anecdote was all the OP chose to present. Most, if not all, of the opinions offered were based on the dog's response (again, based on what the OP chose to present.)

    Nobody has any obligation to accept any advice here but it's worth remembering that the advice was solicited.

    The OP posted once and disappeared. Maybe she took the advice to heart (good advice, BTW, to either keep the dog and the boyfriend separated or help him work on the very slow process of gaining the dog's trust) or maybe she was so appalled by the advice that she bailed out the same day she posted.

    Now tell us about yourself. Did you go to the trouble of registering and chasing down this old thread just to bust our collective chops or do you have an interest in dogs - maybe even a dog of your own?
    Last edited by RonE; 08-17-2011 at 06:14 AM.

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