count to 10 before you type!

drfong · 08-25-2006, 04:25 PM

I can never figure out why people feel that if they try to beat you up on a board that they will ever convince you of anything. The best way to make someone quit listening to what you have to say is to yell or belittle them. You never know who your yelling at or what will help them. There are several recent examples of people coming here for help and getting jumped without any help at all. One example is a poster who was obviously very young and not in a position to know any better and the responses to him were very harsh. Another example is anyone who has a question on dog breeding/pregnancy, some will jump all over them rather than find out what is going on and help that person to learn more about what all it takes to be involved in responsible breeding. I can only sugest that you count to 10 before you type and give yourself a chance to calm down. Also reading what you type and trying to read it from the others perspective before you hit Submit is a good idea also. Are we here to help each other or hurt? You won't save any dogs life by turning people looking for info away, you may feel superior but you will only be adding to the problem because the people you chase away will never be swayed to responsible breeding pratices and proper dog care/training.

Curbside Prophet · 08-25-2006, 04:47 PM

Very well said drfong. Sometimes our opinions can take away the best of us (I'm definately included in this group), and I think if we can all try to reach for the same conclusion, to help and educate, on both sides of an issue, we're more likely to find clarity. Enforcing strong opinions on the defenseless and unknown few gets us nowhere, and fast. I think we all can agree that we would rather be enlightened, than beaten down with someone else's conviction. Counting to 10 is a great idea, and I'm sure you learned this from your dogs, because I know Elsa has taught me plenty about being calm and patient. But I'm still human, however, I think Elsa forgives me for that flaw. At least I feel this is true by the way she greets me everyday.

bigdawgs · 08-26-2006, 05:56 PM

I have to say that unfortunately, I have to practice this EVERY DAY at work. Like the lady who couldn't afford a spay so her dog ends up pregnant, but she will sell this (as she has the last 6 litters) to the local pet store. I plastered a smile on my face, and my vet boss, bless his heart, made the suggestion that any money she makes from the sale of these puppies could be used to PAY FOR A SPAY. (OK enough rant). I know how hard it is and I do try to help with the situation at hand. Once the dog is bred it is way too late to yell about what they SHOULD have done. Thank Drfong, for the reminder!

drfong · 08-27-2006, 03:12 PM

I understand your hands are tied because you do work for a buisness and you can't piss off the customers just because they are wrong. I would guess that after 6 accidents they are so accidental. She is making a few bucks and just doesn't care. I wouldn't have much issue with jumping all over her because you know her, her intent and the situation. I just feel sorry about people who we don't know and before we can find out we chase them away so we never will. Next time she's in 'accidentally' Spay the pup. She is obviously a lady who understands that accidents happen.

Bonnie · 08-31-2006, 08:34 PM

I can't tell you how many boards I have left for that reason! Most times I was afraid to voice my opinion for fear of their wrath. I believe the reason people join forums is to learn something or at least thats what I do. Disagreeing with someone doesn't give me the right to disrespect them.
So far I haven't seen that in this forum... or is it just that I havent pissed anyone off yet? LOL
Bonnie

drfong · 09-03-2006, 01:35 AM

Thanks Bonnie, most everyone here does a great job. There are always some strong post on a board, and sometimes it may be justified, but People come here for help, not to be yelled at. Glad your here.

drfong · 10-16-2006, 11:18 PM

Just bumping this so hopefully some new people might read this.

Pitbull · 10-17-2006, 12:07 AM

I must also state that although people may not always like the answers they receive from posters that are passionate about the topic at hand, especially if the thread is controversial and sensitive, they should not resort to defensive name calling...this is very immature and hypocritical...

I say, take what you will from the posts, as I believe many people here do have the animal's interests in heart, and don't expect sugar coated responses if your topic is controversial and sensitive. Some people may come across as a little harsh, but many of them truely want whats best and are here to give you the full version, not just what you may want to hear.

Thank you

drfong · 10-17-2006, 11:31 AM

There is a difference between sugar coating and turning people away. I guess you just can't understand that. There was nothing wrong with a point of view someone doesn't like being expressed here. It may be very important. All I'm saying is when the first response someone gets is confrontational, they are not going to listen. In our first encounter, you can see how quickly things went wrong. It only took 2 post from each of us to get the thread closed. If I was a new person here and it was a real question (as you took it) instead of a joke, can't you see how nothing good would have come from it. Rather than arguing with you, a new person would probably just leave. I don't know you and your probably NOT a self rightous jerk. I was just trying to prove a point. It was basicly the samething you did to me in the way you responded to my original post. All I can ask is that when people respond to a question they try to use some restraint in their response. Not sugar coat or the half version, just take the time to find out what is going on and help them figure out what is the best course of action. It doesn't have to be solved in one post. There is an old saying, "those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still."

Pitbull · 10-17-2006, 01:42 PM

drfong..what you may be offended by and automatically "turned away"..someone else may actually appreciate and learn something from...I've never had a problem for my down to earth responses, including NEW MEMBERS in other forums I participate in...you are the first..

I really have no purpose in explaining myself to you...I would just urge that you don't automatically assume everyone knows you and knows you are joking next time you post something that is very questionable and considered offensive and disrespectful to many....I wasn't the only one that agreed to that conclusion, and you know that very well...

There is no need to carry forth this conversation...if you have anything else to say, feel free to PM me...I won't be doing the back and forth deal in this thread...

Thank you and good day

blackrose · 10-17-2006, 03:01 PM

I guess the way I try to talk someone into, or out of, something, is I make light about it at first and only push the need-to-know facts, and then I get into a bit more detail later on. I try not to make the person feel stupid, I just lay the facts out in front of them in an unbaised way. Then, if they still aren't getting it, I don't lay the information in front of them, I shove it down their throat.

lol

For example: there is a neighbor by me who is practically neglecting their dog. If I atomatically jumped down their throat, or said I down to earth response ("This dog needs better shelter! It needs better food! It needs, it needs, it needs!!"), do you think that will accomplish anything? Instead I'm going to try and confront them and pretend ignorance, just so I can help get this dog a better life. Slowly and gradually, but it will get there.