| Men Jokes
jokes on women would probably be deleted, but i think the ladies here would all like men jokes.
the problem is, i deleted the "racy" ones, and those were the funniest.
Why do men die before their wives?
They should.
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need...
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
How does a man keep his youth?
By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
A mental hospital.
What's the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men?
Wife saying she wants to talk to him.
Why are men like strawberries?
Because they take a long time to mature and by the time they do most are rotten.
Why does a man have a clear conscience?
Because it's never used.
What do UFO's and caring men have in common?
You keep hearing about them but never see any for yourself.
What's the difference between a man and a chimpanzee?
One is hairy, smelly and is always scratching himself. The other is a chimpanzee.
Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. A dog is always happy to see you
B. A dog only takes a couple of months to train
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.
How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.
How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows? Did it ever happen??
Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.
Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
You know there is a company selling real brains for transplant now?
A male brain costs $75000 and a female brain costs $25000
The female brains are sold as "used"
Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown. . .
Ever noticed that all problems start with MEN?
Why did the man cross the road?
Who knows why the hell men do anything?
How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix?
It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn't need it anyway. | 
