Let's talk weddings....

mom2kdg · 05-13-2008, 10:27 PM

You look so beautiful in your dress. I think your doing the right thing. Just by your post I have the feeling that you would regret not having your "Wedding Day". I did both hence I have been married twice. I got to experience a big wedding and an elopment. I can't say that I regret either they were both perfect in their own way. You have to do what you feel is right for you. Like you said you and your SO can have your wedding and save for your house. Many couples do it this way and that's okay.

Enjoy your day.

Julie

ACampbell · 05-13-2008, 10:56 PM

My husband and I had a Justice of the Peace wedding...due to time constraint. We were engaged on New Years of 2006...we were married on April 3rd 06...2 months before he deployed to Iraq.
I told my parents AFTER we were married, that's about the time I told them I was 2 months pregnant too, lol.
He took a 4 day pass, we went and woke 2 of our friends up on a Monday morning and dragged them wtih us for witnesses...so yeah, no big expensive wedding for us, especially considering it was our 2nd marriage for both of us (both common law marriages but all the same)
I don't regret it, the way I look at it is that first off we were really poor and there was no way we could have afforded it...and my family wasn't about to pay for a wedding after they paid for my divorce 6 months prior...LOL

poodleholic · 05-14-2008, 06:42 AM

Go for the wedding instead of spending the cash!

My first husband and I got married with just a Judge and our two witnesses. Bummer.

I had a small (150 people) wedding w/reception when I married again, with my daughters both participants in the ceremony. They (my girls) helped me select my dress, and I'm very glad I went ahead with this.

When my eldest daughter got married, she had a lovely wedding with the works, with the ceremony held outside on the beach. It was gorgeous, as was she!

BTW, your gown is lovely; you will be a most beautiful bride! Congratulations!

FriendsOfZoe · 05-14-2008, 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poodleholic

I had a small (150 people) wedding w/reception

Wow, what do you consider a "large" wedding? I don't think I even know 150 people.

Betty · 05-14-2008, 08:39 AM

That's a lovely dress - it's simple and beautiful and does not overwhelm you.

Congratulations!

We had a very small wedding and I don't regret it a bit. It included parents, grandparents, siblings and their children. The preacher is a friend of mine and so is the photographer. We did it at a hotel, and the hotel catered it. My mother-in-law and I designed and made all the decorations. It was all very low maintenance, which meant low stress. There was hardly a chance of anything going wrong and turning me into Bridezilla.

In the end, it was a very close-knit wedding where I could name all the guests and recall everything that happened. We paid for our own wedding, so we saved the $$$ for our honeymoon.

Someone may try make your wedding all about them - as in raising hell that you picked so-and-so as maid of honor instead of her, or he didn't get invited even though he's your neighbor's cousin's stepbrother's dogwalker, etc. Don't let it phase you and don't ever forget the wedding is about YOU and your husband-to-be.

sheltiemom · 05-14-2008, 09:34 AM

I love your dress 4d3c, congratulations!

I've had two polar opposite weddings. My first was huge...it was at my ex's parents' country club, gorgeous mountain setting, we had a band and a sit down dinner, invited 200 people and our families spent a stupid amount of money on it. It was beautiful but I felt it reflected my ex's need to impress people and his families need to show off more than it reflected me.

Second time around DH and I went to the JoP with my kids, my parents, and his mom, and we went out to dinner afterward. Since it was my second marriage, no one really questioned why we weren't having a big production. Small and low key is better for me, but I wouldn't have been happy going that route the first time around, even though I do think we did too much the first time.

I don't have any pics of the first wedding on my computer, but here's #2 against the stunning courthouse backdrop....

Max'sHuman · 05-14-2008, 01:40 PM

Your dress is beautiful, you look stunning in it...

As for which way is best....no way is best except for your way. My parents have offered me the same deal, but if I pay for the wedding it will be tiny and my Mom would be kinda upset I guess. So thinking about in the scheme of things who I'd rather pay for what, I'd rather have my parents pay for the wedding because I think I would feel more proud of myself and more responsible if my money was going towards a house.

kerplunk105 · 05-16-2008, 02:03 PM

Its neat seeing how everyone had their weddings. I just went to a very nice wedding last weekend. Most of the guests were Hispanic-I was one of the few white people. It was interesting to see the different customs.

I personally want a smallish wedding-under 100 people. I am going to school for Event Planning, (3rd year)...so planning my own wedding should be interesting

Ella'sMom · 05-16-2008, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sheltiemom

I love your dress 4d3c, congratulations!

I've had two polar opposite weddings. My first was huge...it was at my ex's parents' country club, gorgeous mountain setting, we had a band and a sit down dinner, invited 200 people and our families spent a stupid amount of money on it. It was beautiful but I felt it reflected my ex's need to impress people and his families need to show off more than it reflected me.

Second time around DH and I went to the JoP with my kids, my parents, and his mom, and we went out to dinner afterward. Since it was my second marriage, no one really questioned why we weren't having a big production. Small and low key is better for me, but I wouldn't have been happy going that route the first time around, even though I do think we did too much the first time.

I don't have any pics of the first wedding on my computer, but here's #2 against the stunning courthouse backdrop....

You looked beautiful and you both looked HAPPY. That's the key. Better to get married in a courthouse and be happy than in a church and not be.

FilleBelle · 05-16-2008, 05:11 PM

That IS a pretty funky wall behind you, though. Lol!

Goggie · 05-16-2008, 11:39 PM

I had a traditional wedding. It was small and mostly family and close friends (around 40 people), but I wouldn't have changed it for the world. My colours were champaigne and dark red. I had red and cream coloured roses. My cake was mocha and strawberry, two tiered. My mom and family did the decorating, which was beautiful. A friend of my husband's was my photographer. My husband and I got into it about what he was wearing... I wanted him in his dress uniform but he wouldn't have it and neither would his groomsmen, who all but one were military. I at least stopped them from showing up in powder blue suits.

My mother and father actually searched all over Ontario and Quebec to find a horse and carriage to drop me off at the church. I was so embarrassed, trundling up the main street, holding up traffic. Not to mention, it was in August and high summer. My dress weighed a ton so it was really hot and my shoulders were completely bare-- I sunburn easily. Mom wanted it, I was glad to oblige. I thought it was wonderful that they had gone through so much trouble to find the horse and carriage.

I had the choice of being sent to the Caribbean to be married there, in a private ceremony. My mother and father were going to pay for it as a wedding present but instead, they paid for catering. I wanted my family around me. We are a crazy, loud bunch of people but I wouldn't have changed it for the world.

The only thing I regret is not drinking more-- it was an open bar, courtesy of my parents. Oh, that and letting my brides maids lace me into a boned corset dress... it was revenge for the dresses I put them in-- although, I told them to pick out what they wanted as long as they all wore the same. :P

Regi · 05-17-2008, 09:49 AM

I was married twice the first time in city hall non eventful the marriage lasted 10 years and i have 2 older kids love them to death however city hall was a mistake however the good news I found the man of my dreams and got remarried the right way in the Princeton Chapel in front of family and friends and my kids and it was perfect Im married 6 years now and Im telling u from the heart to have ur day its more important than anything and it gives good luck here is my husband and I on our special day and we have one son now however I have terminal breast and bone cancer since after the birth of our son and Im only 40 so thats the bad news ,,,Good luck to u and HAVE UR DAY

Regi · 05-17-2008, 09:51 AM

And the good news Im still in love with him like on that first day I saw his face we have a beautiful son together and I will never forget my wedding day

4dogs3cats · 05-18-2008, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betty

Someone may try make your wedding all about them - as in raising hell that you picked so-and-so as maid of honor instead of her, or he didn't get invited even though he's your neighbor's cousin's stepbrother's dogwalker, etc. Don't let it phase you and don't ever forget the wedding is about YOU and your husband-to-be.

haha that made me laugh!

My mom is so great too. She knows that even though she is paying, she can't take over. I let her design the centerpieces, which are sandcastle candleholders on a 12x12 mirror with sand and seashells on it. We like the beach. We're having 100 people, at a hotel, and turning it into a weekend event. The wedding is on a Saturday, and everyone is staying at the hotel the whole weekend, and the monday after is columbus day. The hotel (embassy suites) has a free cocktail hour from 5:30-7:30 and a nice pool and garden, so its going to be fun for everyone!

I LOVE seeing everyones weddings! It just prooves that the perfect wedding is different in everyones opinion!

Regi · 05-18-2008, 05:06 PM

Thats so funny you said that,, I remember the one comment from my mother in law was I hope you wont go around collecting money from people at the wedding or have a money box I was shocked because Im not like that it was my wedding day Im not going to pay mind to going from table to table saying HEY DOES ANYONE HAVE A CARD WITH MONEY IN IT FOR ME ha.. How ridiculous but hey what can u do I guess she felt that would be rude and it sounds that way but the worst thing is when people hand u cards and money and what do u do with it? SO I had a purse and my Mom would hold it ,,but all these rules and regulations ha