[chaminade0408]

me and my friend are trying to get our dogs to be friends. i have a pointer/lab mix (about 6 yrs old). she has a pointer/something mix (about 7 yrs old). other than that, i have a full bred yellow lab, that's 12. she also has another dog, a full bred golden retriever, that's about 11. besides the strange coincidence that we have almost the same kinds of dogs at the same age, her pointer (Bee-Gee), and my pointer (Max), refuse to do anything with each other. They're both boys, and when they're around each other they pretend that neither is there and completely ignore each other. they'll walk side by side with their sides touching each other and sniff each other. besides that they're are basically completely anti-social with each other. what do i do? it's only been 4 days, 20 minutes a day at the local park, but it's getting really aggravating because no progress at all has been made.

other information...my friend's grandma comes to her house about 4 times a week and always brings her dog, plus my friends family had 1 cat, it died, and they bought two more. my dog on the other hand has never been exposed to any other dogs except my first dog, the lab (chip). do u think this could be a part of it? first let me back track a bit...my dog, about twice of the 10 times they were face to face, growled at her dog. do u think my dogs worse than her dog because he has never been around other animals before? this is also the first time either of us have walked our dogs, other than just a couple times (but seperate) in their lives.

i hope someone can help me!!!! im losing hope quickly! im getting ready to go to petsmart/petco and borders to find some books to hopefully help out!


thanks!

[lovemygreys]

So, the dogs will walk along side each other and sniff? They don't fight or growl, just peacefully co-exist? I guess I don't see what the problem is. You want to somehow force these dogs to play with each other? Why not just let them be who they are? They aren't being anti-social. They're just doing what they want to do at that moment. If it's *their* play time, then why aren't they allowed to do that?

Think of it this way...how would you like it if I plopped a complete stranger down in front of you and ordered to be buddies with them? Maybe you'd get along with them, maybe you wouldn't. There's not much *I* can do to *generate* chemistry. It's there, or it isn't. You find someone interesting/fun/etc or you don't. Dogs are the same way.

Life isn't a Disney movie.

[chaminade0408]

ok..let me get a bit deeper into the situation then. they're relatively ok with each other, however, if her dog comes to the side of his face he growls really mean and her dog cries.

here's the purpose...my lab, chip, isn't doing well at all. he can barely walk, and we're now giving him medication. it works ok, but he's getting worse. we've switched medicine multiple times. second on all here retriever, annie, is too starting to go down hill quickly. she's very fat (for less of a better work) and just 2 days ago her mom's thinks she died (maybe a heart attack) and came back. she was laying in her parents bedroom snoring really loud, so her mom woke her up, she woke up quick, made a loud gasping sound, then she twitched around the floor for a few seconds, then went completely limp for almost 30 seconds. then after that, she once again gasped for air, and went normal again. the purpose of this is not to necessarily force are dogs to be friends, but maybe more to build a friendship in the unavoidable scenario of the death of either, if not both, of our older dogs.

does this make more sense? reading your paragraph i felt like a tyrant!

[Inga]

Maybe I am way off here but Do you think maybe your dog is just feeling a little out of it because his buddy is sick and not doing so well? I know when my 3 year old died my 1 1/2 year old who was best friends with her went into a depression.(at least seemed to) He was not aggressive with new dogs, but didn't seem to care much about them at all. I guess I believe dogs have pretty deep emotions and he might not be ready to latch on to another dog as a friend just yet. My dog got over it after 3 or so months but he still goes and sits in her spot from time to time. It is weird, he never sat there before. They were best friends. Like I said, Maybe I am way off but it is possible. Better they ignore each other then dislike each other. Continue walking them together. Maybe someday they will feel comfortable enough to play.

[chaminade0408]

i understand where you're coming from. but my lab has been sicking for more than a year. max doesn't act differently around chip, or different since his deteriorating health, except now there's no one to run around the yard with. im not necessarily trying to replace chip with bee-gee. we started off doing it for excersize and to try to socialize are dogs for the first time (with the outside world). they almost never go outside the fence/inside unless they're going to the car to go to the vet or something like that. now, since annie's problem (what we've decided was her almost-death), we thought it'd be a good idea to try to let our dogs find other friends. that way, when one does die or both, then they'll already be friends with each other.

should i not be doing this? we both thought it a good idea, but every response seems to shot our concept down! what should i do if not this (to socialize my dog + find him more dogs to be around (and to be friendly to other dogs))?


thanks

[lovemygreys]

I would keep doing what you are doing and just not force the issue. A sick pack member can definitely affect the other dog(s). I've seen it in our own pack as we've lost some of our seniors over the years.

When your respective dogs eventually do pass away, it's quite likely the dog left behind will go through a grieving process. Don't try to circumvent that by "replacing" their buddy with another dog - either now or after the dog passes. It probably won't work. Most importantly, remember that the primary relationship in the dog's mind is the one with YOU. And you are who he's going to rely on to help him get through losing your other dog. A part-time play buddy most likely isn't going to do that.

Better they ignore each other then dislike each other. Continue walking them together. Maybe someday they will feel comfortable enough to play.

I think this is good advice.

edited to add: I'm sorry your dog isn't doing well. It's always tough to go through that. My original post came off a bit harsh...guess I had a really bad day today. Sorry.