[mcate]

I've added a spitfire of a puppy to my group of two -- 11 month old Linus (pit mix) and my oooooold guy, Puzzle (stays to himself, enjoys laying around most of the day except for a walk). I did because my Linus, who I am extremely attached to, has so long wished for the company of other dogs. He LOVES to play with them, and the big dogs next door sometimes condescend to run the fence with him & he loves the occasion he can go over there & run. But they mostly ignore him and it breaks my heart to see him, waiting beseechfully, at the fence, hoping they'll pay him some attention and play.

Enter Gracie! She's 6 months and the most precious, adorable little ball of energy ever. She can use her small size to absolutely whip Linus' butt in a play tussle. But OMG -- I'm WORN OUT and this is only day two!!!! Linus and I have had our little games and routines for months and now his attention is directed at trying to hump and wrestle. She can wrestle right back, then wants love, love, love.

Will this EVER settle down? Also, worst of all, I wanted a dog for Linus to play with and be able to zoom around in the backyard (we play out in the back but I'm not going to zoom in circles with the speed & duration he gets with another dog). And I felt kind of selfish because I wanted my Linus all to myself (he's also very attached to me) but felt I was depriving him. I see dogs that play together -- they're I hope this settles down in time because I feel a large amount of grief that, regardless, I've lost my best little baby and have betrayed him. I feel we've lost the special privacy and routines that we had. He doesn't try to play with his toys the way we do, and he won't try to get them away from her. They tussle so much -- and I do separate them, but he just wants to go to her crate -- that his little nose is bright pink. They are licking each other's muzzles this morning more in moments of calm.

This is just day two but someone please tell me things will settle, Linus will eventually stop trying to hump so much, and I won't be so exhausted. I don't ever want to lose that specialness with my boy. And Gracie is about as full of personality and preciousness that you could ever get! She is deserving and I know this is a stressful time on all three dogs, but especially Linus and the new Gracie, who is in a new home with a bigger dog that wants to jump on her (seriously, my poor Linus, who's a bit chubby, tends to lose out in the tussle -- he tries to use his size as an advantage to hump!

[Jingles]

Never fear!! Everything will soon be slightly more calm - this is only day 2! Right now - Gracie is figuring out where she stands.. rules.. and seeing how far she can go without getting in trouble. Plus - she's a puppy - she's going to have energy to burn. Best bet is to keep her as worn out as you can and give her plenty to do.. pitties not only require physical exercise, but mental as well. Begin to work with her ie training and give everything a little time Also - be sure everyone gets their deserved attention. It sounds like everyone is taking to the new girl very well but keepiing everyone happy (attention wise) is imperative so no one gets jealous!

[mcate]

I lost my thought! I was going to say that when I watch other dogs that are buddies, they are wearing that look of utter dog happiness and glad to be in each other's company doing their doggie thing. I felt like, if given the chance, Linus would love that opportunity -- he's such a baby still.

But OMG, the tussling! Will it ever cease? It gets rather heated but not escalated into aggression.

[mcate]

Thanks -- I also neglected to mention that it doesn't help matters that I developed one of those horrendous cricks in my shoulder, back & neck yesterday morning -- a snaking rope of inflamed muscle you can feel, I'll probably have to call my doctor tomorrow it's that bad. It's so tender that I was carefully having to shift on my back all night. I HATE those things and haven't gotten one for quite some time (went back to snooze the other grey, chilly morning, and slept wrong).

That hasn't helped! Right now, they have settled down side by side, each with a nylabone. My Linus just seems rather despondent. Gracie knows to sit but I had so much pain last night & today I didn't grab the clicker to start from scratch. And then, there's fending off my Linus, who outweighs her 35 lbs. by at least 20!

[Jingles]

Right now they're deciding "who stands where" basically. The "pack" of Linus, you and Puzzle has been somewhat disturbed.. imagine if you had a deck of cards and then flipped it into the air.. all the cards are scattered but they don't stay that way - eventually the deck gets put back together.. most likely in a different order Same thing going on with your group. You do however have to make it clear that no one is going to aggressively beat up on anyone else or else you will have big problems. Play is okay.. even hard playing.. but aggressive behavior should not be tolerated because it will only continue to escalate and it sounds like you know the difference which is a big plus!

[mcate]

Oh -- they have both been spayed/neutered. Gracie came from a foster home so she's not intimidated by other dogs (there were 4 other dogs). Her foster mom said she would play that roughly with her foster siblings, except the alpha one wouldn't let her. Linus just isn't used to it in that amount. Hopefully, given her young age, she'll settle a little. A wee pup, maybe 2 months, invited herself into our house a few weeks ago -- she was a pit pup and she played just as hard. Linus loved it, too, but I can tell he was also overwhelmed.

I'm getting her own crate today. Gracie's little face looks like a cross between a seal and a field mouse, if you can picture that. She also snorts like a pug!

[Jingles]

She sounds absolutely adorable!! I'm sorry to hear about your shoulder.. that certainly can't be good when trying to play around with everyone! It's great to hear that they can actually settle down next to one another happily chewing away on nylabones! Sounds like everything is going along normally and everyone will settle into place - give it time though - it's very rare to find a situation where a new dog has entered the scene and everything is perfect from day 1! I often have foster dogs over here and have even brought over two prissy female afghan pups to play with my boys (the breeder was scared but I assured her all would be well).. the first time the afghans were over, the play didn't stop until everyone was just so tired they wouldn't stand anymore. Now - I did have an issue with Pugsly (my bulldog) trying to make it clear that he was the boss and the crazy afghan just didn't understand so by keeping a constant eye on the situation.. Pugsly remembered that *I* was really the boss and he had to play nice.. that may not work in all situations but just a thought! It doesn't sound like you're going through any aggression issues, but you may.. just to keep you on your toes!

[mcate]

Words of wisdom -- my Linus (who takes Prozac) just showed his first sign of aggression when I was petting him and Gracie came near. He resource guards me often against my daughter (who he otherwise loves) and this is the first hint of jealousy. Got his prozac a little late this a.m.

[Jingles]

I hope you made it clear to him that his behavior was absolutely unacceptable! "Guarding" you against anyone (dogs, kids.. anyone!) is not something he should be allowed to do. I'm all for positive training, but sometimes you have to take a stand and let him know that he CANNOT behave that way or he will continue and the outcome may not be so great.

[mcate]

Sadly, I've about come to the conclusion today that, without the intensive training that I don't necessarily have the time for, Linus is a one-owner dog. He may love to play with other dogs, yearn to play with them, but living with one is a different matter. Well, besides our old dog who was here first.

He has had the worst day of aggression that he has had in MONTHS, after much progress. And yes, at one point his "play" quickly escalated, he meant business, & I crated him. He has been very unhappy, stressed, and has shown no interest in normal routines, though I'm sure this may be normal.

Sweet little Gracie is a dog owner's dream and deserves better siblings -- she can tussle with them but shouldn't be fearful. Linus was here first, I've worked with his issues & deserves my commitment; he's shown improvement, but I can't count on this not making things worse in the long run for him than better, behavior wise, particularly as he's just about to be a year old.

I've contacted Gracie's foster mom, who was adament that she would take her if it didn't work out. I have cried my eyes out today because Gracie is the sweetest dog ever, absolutely adorable. Maybe she's a normal dog and Linus and had so many issues that it's just such a contrast! Linus' behavior hasn't been tolerated but I don't know, given his nature, if that's something that is ever going to really go away. His prozac has helped him be much less reactive but I saw regression in his behavior today. Last night he was worn out from playing. Today, he's had enough, his world has changed, and he's terribly stressed and anxious.

One other thing -- we have an old cat, Wednesday. She & Puzzle ignore each other, she often has to run from Linus (he ignores her more & more) but Gracie is as fast as a loose cannon and is intent on getting her. Poor Wednesday has had probably the worse day she's ever had in the many years we've had her

[Jingles]

I am so sorry to hear it's not going to work out. Thankfully - the foster mom is willing to take her back and hopefully she will find a forever home sooner than later.
I would like to applaud you on your effort though and also in your honesty regarding the situation. It takes a strong, intelligent person to know when something just isn't going to work and that it's really better for everyone if Gracie finds a forever home with someone else.
Sorry you are hurting - but I hope you know getting Gracie into a home better suited for her is really the right thing to do. ((hugs))