Any suggestions for a very tired mom?

kaykay · 04-11-2007, 11:36 AM

I lost my Goldie, a 10 1/2 year old Golden Retriever almost a year ago. My children (16 & 19) begged, pleaded, and promised the world if we could get a new baby golden. Well her name is Bailey, and she is 5 months old. I am sure she is a very normal baby golden with all the normal puppy energy. The problem is that I do not have the patience and energy that I use to have. In addition I have felt ill for the past 6 weeks or so and have lost almost 20 pounds. I am extremely exhausted! I have no appetite and when I force myself to eat my stomach hurts. I know that Bailey is a gift from God and I should be so very happy to have her. I don't know what to do. I have a husband and two kids who share her care but the majority of the work is on me. I usually work 5 hours a day but am off this week due to Easter Break. I would appreciate any words of advise or support you are willing to send.

Curbside Prophet · 04-11-2007, 11:54 AM

What is the possibility of signing up for an obedience class with the family? Maybe if your family attends a class together it will give reason to equally divide the training at home.

Sorry to hear about how stressed out you are, but I hope it all works out.

peace36 · 04-11-2007, 11:55 AM

I am a mom of 5 (human children) ages 2, 3, 5 9 & 10. And 2 puppies 12 months and 7 months. I really feel for you. Things are tiresome as it is and then when you are sick it seem unbearable. I would just say try to relax and get better if things go a little or a lot haywire hopefully some one else will pick up the slack until you feel better. If they dont well just prioritize and only do what is absolutley nessesary.

I think it is so unfair when us moms get sick. Somehow every thing is sopposed to go on. Well you will be in my prayers and just relax and do not sweat the small stuff. You getting better is the most important right now.

Maybe keep the puppy (if you are not already) confined to the kitchen so she can not go to crazy in the house while the hubby and kids are away and just accept that you are sick and do what every it is to get better

I hope that helped a little and welcome to the forum

bearlasmom · 04-11-2007, 12:07 PM

First thing first hon.
GET YOURSELF TO A DR. SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG HERE. Do it today, before you worry about dogs, kids or anything else. PLEASE

once you have done that: your kids are more than old enough to step up to the plate and help you. 16 and 19? Get them helping you areound the house. they live there, they can chip in. God i could write a book (and i am, lol) on raising teens. Tell them they live there, they can start helping out or they can start paying room and board. They also are the ones who begged and pleaded with you to get the dog right?

Tell them to start helping train it. Sign the pup and THE KIDS, NOT YOU up for obedience training classes. Force them to take the dog. Anytime they say they are too busy to train the dog or to busy to walk it or too busy to feed it. DONT SAY ANYTHING the first time. Just dont make dinner, dont clean up anything of theirs anymore period, when they ask if their clothes are clean look at them puzzled and say' didnt you wash them, gosh, you know you are old enough to do it, im too tired, i have been too busy'

when they ask where dinner is or what it is (get hubbies support here) tell them you ahve been too busy. you havent had a chance. Tell them that they have to start saving money for a dog walker 'because you are too busy'
and too sick.

When they say 'MOM , i need soap or MOM i need more socks or i need more shampoo, say 'thats nice, i need help around here and i dont get it. When they begin to growl and whine (they all do at that age) tell them you are too sick and then scare the bleeding hell out of them for a few days. GO TO BED, OR WRAP YOURSELF UP IN A FLUUFY BLANKY on the couch. When they are around moan and groan. Have your hubby pick up take out food for the two of you and eat it in your room cause you are too sick. Tell them that taking care of the house and the two dogs has finally gotten the better of you. If they ask what is wrong say you have a 'terminal' illness, TEENAGERS.

i guarantee hon IT WORKS.

it worked with mine

cshellenberger · 04-11-2007, 12:18 PM

Oh, that sounds like something I'd pull!

KayKay,
She's right , you need to get yourself checked out FIRST. The symptoms you're haveing indicate a SERIOUS issue. It sounds like what happened to my mom when she had Pancreatitis.

Then as Bearlasmom said, make the teens do more work both around the house and with the dog.

reptilelady · 04-11-2007, 01:05 PM

Never had children so I'm probbly not the best person to give advise. I can only say that your health is most important here. Once you have your strength back, please tell everyone to "get their butts in gear" and help out with the running of the household. Everything is everyone's, including the responsibilities! A dog is a responsibility too and everyone there should share in the care of he/she. Dogs are precious gifts sent from God for us to love. Afterall..."God" spelled backwards is "dog". Good luck with your problem and may patience and good health be yours in the very near future!

Spence
http://www.cutedoggifts.com

Ivanhoe29 · 04-11-2007, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bearlasmom

First thing first hon.
GET YOURSELF TO A DR. SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG HERE. Do it today, before you worry about dogs, kids or anything else. PLEASE

once you have done that: your kids are more than old enough to step up to the plate and help you. 16 and 19? Get them helping you areound the house. they live there, they can chip in. God i could write a book (and i am, lol) on raising teens. Tell them they live there, they can start helping out or they can start paying room and board. They also are the ones who begged and pleaded with you to get the dog right?

Tell them to start helping train it. Sign the pup and THE KIDS, NOT YOU up for obedience training classes. Force them to take the dog. Anytime they say they are too busy to train the dog or to busy to walk it or too busy to feed it. DONT SAY ANYTHING the first time. Just dont make dinner, dont clean up anything of theirs anymore period, when they ask if their clothes are clean look at them puzzled and say' didnt you wash them, gosh, you know you are old enough to do it, im too tired, i have been too busy'

when they ask where dinner is or what it is (get hubbies support here) tell them you ahve been too busy. you havent had a chance. Tell them that they have to start saving money for a dog walker 'because you are too busy'
and too sick.

When they say 'MOM , i need soap or MOM i need more socks or i need more shampoo, say 'thats nice, i need help around here and i dont get it. When they begin to growl and whine (they all do at that age) tell them you are too sick and then scare the bleeding hell out of them for a few days. GO TO BED, OR WRAP YOURSELF UP IN A FLUUFY BLANKY on the couch. When they are around moan and groan. Have your hubby pick up take out food for the two of you and eat it in your room cause you are too sick. Tell them that taking care of the house and the two dogs has finally gotten the better of you. If they ask what is wrong say you have a 'terminal' illness, TEENAGERS.

i guarantee hon IT WORKS.

it worked with mine

LOL - I need to remember that when my kids reach that age. Luckily, my 6 year old son does his fair share with taking care of the dog. He has the afternoon feeding duty. He even wants to pick up the poop, and dump it, but I am afraid when he does, it will fall back on him since our trash can is taller than him.

kaykay · 04-11-2007, 01:44 PM

Thank you so much for your kind words and suggestions. I do keep Bailey in the kitchen for short amounts of time. We bought a really nice steel baby gate with a people gate in it so that we don't have to straddle over it all the time. I was told that the next dr appt available was May 4th when I called yesterday but called back today to beg for something earlier. I go in on Friday! Hope they can help me. My kids and Husband do help with Bailey, it's just that they all work (kids part time and then school)..... so I always feel that since I only work 5 hours a day it should be me getting up at 6:00 am to take her out to potty a couple of times before we all leave in the morning. I am usually home by 1:00 pm. Again, thank you for all your kindness!

peace36 · 04-11-2007, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaykay

6:00 am to take her out to potty a couple of times before we all leave in the morning. I am usually home by 1:00 pm. Again, thank you for all your kindness!

I hear ya. With the feeling that it shouls be you taking the dog out at 6am. And whether it is fair or not I am not sure but I am sure that all things should change when someone is not feeling well. Just go slow and if something feels like too much at this point then it is you can not help being sick.

I really feel for you

I bet you do a lot more than most realize. Your family sounds pretty typical though- you know the "hmmm well mom is not missing a limb or spirting blood so she must be ok" attitude. I tell you it seems most are like that and they love us so. I have come to see the only one who will give ourselves a break or know when it is too much is us. So make sure you take care of you and let the rest of your loving family know before you are pushed to your limit.

Good luck too you!

Chloef_2799 · 04-11-2007, 02:59 PM

Wow KayKay. I really feel for you. I don't have kids but my siblings are 25 (me, 21) 18, 15 and 12 so I know what its like to have lots going on all the time. I would seriously suggest that you go to a doctor. Such extreme weight loss in such a short time is not good. And if you have to force yourself to eat and feel sicl afterwards....something is seriously wrong. I say if your kids are 16 and 19 then they should step up and start looking after the puppy and doing more things around the house while you get yourself feeling better.
I am sorry to hear about your loss. Goldie must have been special to you...it is always hard to loose a pet.

suzysmitt · 04-16-2007, 10:34 AM

Please take care of yourself first. Second of all I would sit down with your hubby and kids, and explain you wanted this pup, and now it's here, and I'm in no condition to take care of it. Tell them if they don't pick up the slack the dog will have to go (not really, but it should give them a scare). Come to the meeting with a list of jobs you expect each of them to be responsible for, and make sure there's consequences if they don't hold up their end of the bargain. Sometime's tough love is what's needed.