Abused :(

crogers4

I'm adopting a sweeeeeeet Chesapeake bay retreiver who was pretty badly abused the first year of her life (she's 1.5 now) She's completely non agressive and just wants some love, but she doesn't really play and when I go to visit her she loves on me but she's just..not trusting, which is pretty understandable.

I don't get to take her home until Juen 29th because of my living situation, so does anyone have any advice to make her trust me and have her be a fun, playful dog when she finally does come home? I know it'll be a process and I'm more than willing to work with her, I just don't really know where to start.

Thanks!!

EDIT*

I wrote the above while on a conference call (yeah I rock as an employee...) Here's some more info:

She was used as a bait dog and has some scarring on her face and a nose that's more scar tissue than anything else. She was taken out of a high kill shelter on her last day because she's not a puppy and because of her looks people were afraid she was agressive. She's completely houstrained and knows some basic commands. She's currently being fostered with a behavior therapist until I can take her. I've met her twice and she absolutely the sweetest dog ever- her whole body wiggles as soon as you show her any positive attention, but any sudden movement or anything perceived as violent and she's on her back showing her belly in seconds.

You've been really helpful so far- keep them coming!! Thanks!

Dwayners

first, once you get her home forget about her past completely (super important). be the best dog mommy or daddy you can be (obviously the important thing is don't abuse her) and in time she will come to trust you. I've heard that feeding by hand will help build that relationship.

work on the trust first, get lots of walks in and then work on the play once she has settled into her new life.

TooneyDogs

Trust is all about your dog understanding the rules and guidelines you set-up. Dogs thrive on structure and that's what makes them comfortable and able to trust you. You need to be consistent....an obvious example...you call her to Come and you give her a treat but, the next time you call her to Come and you scold her.
You should know ahead of time what the rules are and how you're going to apply them. Typical examples: on or off the furniture? On or off your bed? Sit before eating? Begging..allowed or not? What does she have to do to earn your attention? Your rules apply to all housemembers/guests as well.

McBeck

It might be helpful if you sleep in a t-shirt or on a towel for a night and then leave it w/ the foster person so the dog can sleep with your scent near her.

I think hand feeding it a great way to bond and build trust with your dog. Toys like this one are also good ways to teach a dog to play. You can fill it w/ kibble or treats, and then you roll it around for a while and let her get the treats that fall out. Eventually she'll get the idea and roll it around herself. http://www.petsmart.com/product/inde...ductId=2751743

Did the behaviorist have any tips for you? I imagine she'll be a bit skittish when she finally moves to your house b/c of the change in surroundings, but don't get discouraged! I'm sure you'll draw her out with a lot of love and patience.

Elenore2

My dog was abused too, but not so much physically. She came from the shelter at about 9 years old with a lot of baggage and was extremely timid. What worked the best was to have her with me and my family as often as possible. Especially at the beginning we went out of our way to look for opportunities to include her in what we were doing and take her along wherever we went. It took her several months to even start to respond, but she finally relaxed and has been a wonderful friend to me and my family these last three years. She still has a little "baggage" which we just accept and work around. For instance, she's frightened of storms so my husband has taught her to bark and growl at the thunder. They growl and howl at it together. It's hilarious and seems to help, but isn't completely effective. She also shreds/spreads the contents of the trash can when we're gone (separation anxiety.) We've gotten really good at remembering to take out the trash when we leave. I hope you enjoy the company of your new friend.

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RonE

The best dog I've ever had, or expect to have, was beaten to unconsciousness regularly as a pup. Given his history, it would be understandable if he had been fearful, or even aggressive, around humans, but he was just the opposite - gentle, social and extremely anxious to please.

Give him some time and patience. You will probably end up with a dog who understands how bad life CAN be and will really appreciate how GOOD it can be in contrast.

BTW, there is a special place in Heaven for people who give a dog like that a second chance.

Renoman

Congratulations on your new friend. You must be very excited.

You've gotten some great advice from everyone here.

Time. She will come to trust you in time. It may not be right away, may take six months, may not, but she will have to get there in her own way. It's not something you can force. You can help her get there and guide her there with alot of love and patience. Don't try to rush the process. (Please don't think I'm implying that you would.)

One thing I found that works is to sit on the floor with her. Just sit quietly with her. Let her come to you. If she doesn't come the first time, she'll at least come closer the second. Eventually, she'll be sleeping with her head on your lap.

As someone else suggested set up a routine and be consistent. She'll be more confident once she knows the routine and what to expect.

Once she feels confident and trusts you, you won't have to worry about the playing.. there will be plenty of that!!!

Good luck and oh... I forgot.... we need pictures - LOTS of pictures!!! It's the rules here.

John Bono

Reading this, I think people put waaaaay too much stock in a dog's appearance when determining their temperament. At the shelter I volunteer at, there is a dog with a bunch of sores on her head, and looks like she had a pretty hard life. She's also the most cuddliest cuddlebug in the place. Not interested in tennis balls, playing chase, or any of that. Just climbs in your lap, and licks your face. There's a big-scary-something-or-other mix that when he's on a leash, does the pet me happydance to everyone that walks by.

crogers4

Thank you so much everyone!!

I stopped by the foster's to see her today and brought a shirt I slept in last night with me- the foster is going to put it on top of her bed for me.

You'll be happy to know that she's doing SO well at the foster. When I first went to meet her, she was hesitant to go for walks with me and she wouldn't run at all, and when I threw her the ball she hid.

Today, she ran out to meet me and we went for a three mile run- she's a better partner than my normal running buddy!! And she's learned fetch and drop it pretty well. We even did some tug o' war. I think she's going to be just fine when she comes home in (a verrrrry long) two weeks

If you guys have any more tips, I'll take them! Thanks again!

DogsforMe

Congratulations in taking on such a challenging dog. Get all the advice from the foster that you can. Her likes & dislikes. Warn all your visitors that your dog is a little afraid & to not make direct eye contact with her or make any sudden movements. Have some treats at the door for visitors to give her. Maybe drop them on the floor near her until you can guage her reaction. Good luck & speed on the next 2 weeks.

alphadoginthehouse

Nothing better than a furr baby so glad to see you she wiggles (except maybe a two-legged baby).

Most important on my mind is WHAT'S HER NAME!? Does she have one yet? And yes, pictures are the rule. I need to add some to my signature...gonna do that today.

This forum is the best place to get advice. It may not always be what you want to here, but take it all in and make your decision.

Good luck and like Dogsforme said, speed on the next 2 weeks.

yorkielover4life

Congratulations! I too bought an abused dog 3 years ago. The husband hated my Tigger(yorkie), but his name was Clancy at that time. He doted on his Sheltie, but would kick Clancy as hard as he could, throw him down the stairs, and keep him locked in a cage & only let him out once a day to go potty! The wife had told me about Clancy, so I asked her to bring him in to my store and when we met, he came right up to me & rolled right on his back for a belly rub! It was love at 1st site (all 4 whopping pounds of him!) He was terrified of all men/boys & I begged to woman to sell him to me, even tho I had 5 cats & didn't know a thing about dogs, especially yorkies! Two weeks later she called & said he's yours for $200, 20 minutes later I changed his name to Tigger & he's known nothing but love ever since! He even took to my hubby right away! They never gave him toys to play with & only taught him to growl at everybody! I took him everywhere with me & even got kicked out of Target for having him with me! lol The 1st time he actually played was when we had puppies, they wouldn't leave him alone! He still will not play with toys and his growl is so endearing to all who meet him! He's also "daddy's boy" now and loves everybody, men/boys included. Sounds like you've already gained your puppy's trust..they just automatically know who wants & loves them & you'll be together before you know it

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