Maybe I jumped too soon at getting a dog?

tigress

I posted in some one else's post about her being depressed over getting a dog saying I understand completely.

I know I"m going to get flamed and I think I deserve it. But I wonder if I got myself in over my head. I thought I was up to the task of a dog (forgot I didn't want a puppy). I htink I was thinking old dog taht was happy to go on a few walks and then mostly lie around (like my friend's greyhounds).

I find myself willing to take the dog out on walks (she gets at least two 30 minute walks and several small reward walks for peeing outside), get her out for her potty time, and maybe play with her some , but then anytime else I find I just want to put her in the crate so I don't haev to keep a real close eye on her (cause of pottying and also cause she gets bored with her toys so quickly and I worry if I don't watch her she'll find something else to chew). I keep her with me in the crate but I think I wanted a dog who was happy to be with some one who wanted to be a geek/watch tv when she's home. I feel if she's not in the crate I have to keep her entertained. I think I didn't realize quite how different dogs are from cats or how much commitment they involve.

I'm not sure I'm ready even when she's potty trained (She's getting there) to have her roaming free as I feel I am going to have to keep a constant eye on her and make sure she is entertained and that feels like a lot more responsibility than I can handle. I think partly it is cause she is part husky and I don't trust she's going to find other ways to entertain herself if I don't find a way to entertain her, when she gets hyper from playing she no longer wants to play with the toy I try to provide her instead wanting to take her bed and shake it about (and I"ve seen what she does to plush toys so I try not to let her do that).

She's a good dog, but I'm not sure I'm a good owner. And I fear that I might just want to stick her in the crate a lot (only time I feel relaxed). I was thinking when getting a dog it would be take her out for 30 minute walks twice a day (maybe an hour walk and a 30 minute walk though I think I'd rather split it up into 3 30 minute walks), do some training with her (I really suck at that. I can't seem to keep her attention... and yet hte trainer can get her to focus totally on her and I'm not sure how she does that), take her out with me to places on the weekends, and other than that give her chew toys/bones and she'd be happy to hang around me...

Unfortunately I have no idea what she'd be like totally free roaming at this point cause I've been crate training but I think I'm finding that too convenient (she only seems to get out when I'm willing to play with her or watch tv and keep an eye on her or wash dishes and have her on a leash). It just worries me when I do have her out that she seems to get bored quickly. I did have her out ofr an hour today and played with her for 15 minutes then coudln't get her interested in her ball. So I brought out her hoof and she calmed down and chewed on that for a while then went to sleep (I half napped while she napped). But then I went over to pet her and that woke her up so she went looking around the room for something to do (even tried digging int he carpet). So i tried to take her out and she didn't need to go pee (Though she knew go potty meant go outside so she acted excited so I wanted her to keep the reference). Now she's back in her crate, had dinner, and sleeping (cause well, she's in her crate and nothing to do besides sleep or chew on her hoof).

I find I htink I was being unrealistic in what the upkeep of a dog was... and I'm wondering if maybe I should find her another home (one that will give her lots of play/stimulation. I so worry about her husky side and her getting bored outside her crate).

I feel bad and htis was the part of me that kept me from getting a dog til now. That said I wasn't sure if I really was up to the care of a dog. But then part of me said I could, but I think this is more than what I even expected when I told myself I wasn't ready.

Flame away (or tell me I'm being overparanoid and it really won't be that bad but tell me honestly your feelings judging what I said).

FilleBelle

I don't think you are necessarily doomed to be a terrible dog owner. You obviously know what it takes to keep a dog happy. All you have to do to be a "good" dog owner is decide to do it today and every day for the rest of the dog's life. In that way, owning a dog is just like having kids or being in a committed relationship. It is rarely easy, it is NEVER what you expected, it is sometimes the exact opposite of what you want. But you decide every day to do it and you keep on keeping on.

Having said that, I think a Huskey mix was absolutely a terrible choice for your lifestyle and a dog is NOT a child. It is considerably easier (not to mention more legal) to rehome a dog than a person. So, if after much soul searching, you come to the conclusion that this dog is not right for you and your life, it is in everyone's best interest that you see it into a more appropriate home.

And that you think long and hard before getting another dog.

tigress

Trust me, if I end up rehoming her, that will be my lesson that I should keep to cats and fish. I'm not even sure if I ended up keeping her if Id' get another dog again (I surely am never getting another puppy). Then again if I ended up keeping her I might find in the long run I'd end up missing having a dog in my life. But right now my inclination would be no (Which I know is a bad sign. That and the fact that I just realized I think I have somewhere to go if I do decide to rehome her that I'm sure would find her a good and appropriate home made me feel a little less stressed).

I only even thought a Husky mix would be ok cause she wasn't pure husky and she seemed relatively calm when I met her and when we talked to the guy trying to home her (his dog got out and got pregnant by many different dogs). I thought maybe since she was a mix she wouldn't be too husky like (Trust me, I know a husky is not a right match for me. I bet greyhounds would be but they are just so morose and I like cheerful dogs. My friend's dogs are sweet and I know they are more my level but... they just are so morose). SHe probably is still calm for a puppy but I really worry about her short attention span.

IF I do rehome her I think I'll try for the purebred rescue near me (I've seen them try to home mixes that obviously have a lot of one breed). I'd even be willing to foster her. She's a real ideal "Husky". She's very sweet, a bit shy but I think that can be overcome, she's good with dogs even if they are growly at her, good with cats (wants to play but once she gets to sniff them tends to get bored with them), relatively calm (just gets bored easily and I worry about her destroying my house if I don't keep a constant eye on her and make sure she's entertained), good in the car (she settles down quickly and chews on her nylabone, watches outside, or even goes to sleep), a bit stubbern (I'm not sure she sees me as alpha but she does have the i'll listen to you if I want husky trait I hear about), but quick to learn, and she looks almost like a husky (save the ears. MOst people mistake her for a pure husky). I even think she'd be great with kids (well, 8 year old kids and older, she's a bit jumpy at first meeting people). Probably be better for her to be in a family with kids who want a pup, I'm sure she'd get a lot of stimulation in an environment like that.

I mean I like her and I think she's a great dog (I really do). I just don't know if I'm a great owner for a dog and should have just stuck with cats.

Part of me says I should wait til I get a full fence so we can let her run outside some (though I know she'd have ot have me there, she doesn't like it when I'm not in the same area as her). Maybe she'll get a lot better, but I just don't want to have to spend the majority of my time around her and I am getting hte feeling to keep her a happy/entertained dog that is what would need to happen (I mean I'd be happy if she was happy a lot of time to just lie around or chew on her rawhide or play with her toy without getting bored and creating a "toy" out of something else. IT's hard to get her to redirect her attention back to a toy once she's bored iwth it. But I'm not sure I"d be willing to constantly be playing with her/interacting with her whenever I'm home. I'm willing to walk her about 1.5 hours a day and maybe do some play time with her, but the rest of the time I'd like her to be happy with what I listed above).

I dunno, I don't know how much of it when she's out is nervous energy from being in the crate a lot (and getting most of her energy out on walks) and how much is something that is normal for her.

TooneyDogs

There's no shame in saying you made a mistake and there is no honor in keeping a dog when you cannot devote the time that is needed for his full potential.
I was about to suggest that you not swear off dogs forever but, then I thought about the previous discussion on your expectations for this puppy. It sounds like you are more comfortable with independence and where the demands are low (fish/cats). That's not said/meant as a bad thing....we all have our comfort zones. There are cat people, dog people and some that have both.
Anyway, something to think about in the future.

tigress

Well, I'm going to give her a little more time, try to have her out more. We are going to get the fence fixed this week so we can have outside play time. And see if that takes off the edge when she's inside and loose (it may just be she has a lot of energy from being crated a lot. Now that she's getting more the idea of housetraining I think I should let her out supervised more and maybe that will help too).

I know where I will go to get her homed though if I do decide I am not being fair to her and I will be more than willing to foster her til they find a home (I am more comfortable with them finding a home cause they will be better at telling who will be a good home than I am knowing huskies and dogs better than me).

And I agree.. I used to be there is no excuse for giving a dog up, but after seeing people I wish would give their dogs up, sometimes I feel people should just recognize they aren't giving a good home. I don't want to be unfair to her and she's a great dog. But, I also might be being unfair in that I am judging her too quickly after she's been crated a lot due to housetraining (I mean she does get out every hour to pee and walk and sometimes to be leashed to me which she only likes a little better cause she does not like being restrained to one spot but has barely had any chance to be free of leash and crate).

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sheltiemom

I returned my first dog ever. He was a sweet dog, but a big mistake for me at the time. I was 19, living in an apartment with my boyfriend, and we really wanted a dog. We went to the humane society and picked out a 6 month old mixed breed. Both my boyfriend at the time and I worked and I was going to school too, and this dog had what I believe to be true seperation anxiety. On top of that, we didn't know about crates or training at all really. We walked him and played with him, but when we left he ripped up linoleum and carpet, ate through the baseboards and walls, and barked non stop while we were gone. We almost got evicted, and ended up returning him to the humane society. They don't euthanize for space, so I don't think I condemned him to his death, but I am supposedly on their "do not adopt" list for life for returning a dog.

We got a cat shortly after who I still have. She is 12. I waited seven years and until I married the boyfriend and bought a home before I tried a dog again. We got a two year old from a different shelter, and someone told us about crates....it worked out much much better. My ex still has him, and I have three other dogs now.

Anyway, if you decide not to keep her, find a good home and don't feel guilty. Since it has only been a short time though, I would try it a little longer. I think if she can spend more time outside the crate she will be less hyper. The puppy stage doesn't last forever and they do calm down some.

tigress

Oh, I definitely think it is my responsibility to make sure she gets a good home if I do rehome her (which is why I want to go throught he purebred rescue as I trust the rep would be a better judge of who would be a good home for her. She looks so much like a husky and it is obvious she has a lot of husky... in fact if it wasn't for her ears now that I'm seeing more personality like a husky I'd almost wonder if her father wasn't the husky I saw roaming around near the owner's place... his dog was a husky and got followed home by several dogs).

I gated her up in the kitchen tonight and put her bed on the gate near where I was (unfortunately there is now way to gate off the living room where I am.. it is a very open house design). She did get up and sniff around some (but there is nothing in the kitchen I think she can destroy easily) but mostly was happy to stay on the bed chewing on her hoof near me.

Even better, two times she went to the gate far from me (but close to the door I take her out to pee) and it seems she did so when she wanted to pee (I told her go potty? Took her downstairs and she peed pretty promptly). I think she's getting very good with the housetraining (She's not even in the room that has the door to the outside I take her).

And she's getting better about not pulling (I am having to stop less and our walks are not taking quite twice as long anymore from me refusing to move when she pulls).

If she doesn't end up chewing up the whole house out of boredom(she hasn't really started the habit but being part husky and her seeming like she gets bored easily when I had her out trying to get her to play with her toy has me worried about that), I could be very happy with her I think (housetraining with her was my first priority, then after walking her and her starting to pull that was a second, now I'm worried about her getting really bored).

Basically, my big fear with what might happen is that either she ends up chewing everything and destroying it out of boredom (cause I'm not entertaining her enough and she doesn't want to settle with her bone) or I end up crating her all the time cause I can't handle having to keep a constant eye out (I mean like watching her like a hawk and not even liking it if she disappears from sight for a second) for what she might be doing. Either is not a scenario I think is good for either of us.

She's also gotta get along with my cats (The second she attacks them she is outta here and into a home with no cats. I'd still foster her and never let her free with the cats til she got homed but I could not keep a dog that thought they were prey. I'm not even willing to trust training to teach her that is unacceptable if she started thinking of htem as prey. But from what I've seen of her with cats is that she just wants to play. Unfortunately my cats don't and tend to run. She is good with cats that don't run from her, she sniffs them and then gets bored with them).

Dogstar

I don't think you're necessarily a bad person, I think you're just overwhelmed- and I feel bad for you for being in this position.

Huskies are a REALLY tough breed to own for most people. Yes, I know lots o people have huskies that aren't destructive, don't eat cats, and come when called. Most of them are either a, elderly, or b, have had an insane amount of training. Huskies are NOT a good first-time dog- even the mixes can be really tough dogs to own. It's not just about energy level- it's about mindset and bonding, and huskies can be so darn independent- and a novice owner/trainer doesn't have the skills at building that bond or much in the way of focus.

Hang in there. There's no shame in realizing you're over your head, but I *do* think you're doing your part. This may just not be the right dog for you- and really, I don't think a puppy fits what you're looking for at this time in your life. (At least, not a husky puppy. Mal and Lizzie were able to be loose, loosely supervised from abou 12 weeks on; Indy wasn't until over 2)

tigress

Well, the bonding thing she seems to at least want to be everywhere I am (I had roommate holding her leash and I was wondering around hte house and she kept wanting to follow me). But yeah, focus... I can't seem to get her to focus much when I'm training her (I did get her to focus a little on watch me yesterday. The trainer at Petsmart some how gets her focus like that... I am not s ure what I'm doing differently but she'll get her full attention when doing hte watch me command).

She's mostly good at coming when called (I woudln't trust her off leash but the previous guy who had her did and she tends to hover around where the person is).

But yeah, I'd never consider myself good at training dogs. When I was growing up our family had dogs and I never was able to get them to listen to me (golden retrievers) but I think also I would get upset easily and do the wrong things (like when they pulled, I'd pull back. I am finding Aurora isn't quite not pulling now but she pulls a lot less and I'm trying the stop til she looks at me whenever she pulls. Honestly, while I can't get her focus, she still seems easier to get to do things like sit than our first Golden who was very bad about the come here command, not pulling, not sitting, escaped our fence all the time - I don't need a husky not to trust fences after that dog, he even got into some one else's fence and started a fight with their poor dog. He was a sweet dog but I don't think I'd want to do a dog like him again. WE found him in a shelter with 7 days to live and he was found roaming hte countryside).

I'm still not sure but I do think I need to give her more time.

BTW... you didn't happen to inhabit rec.pets.dogs.breeds (or some newsgroup along that name, I forget what it was exactly) years ago did you? The name looks very familiar (could just be another person who used that nick on the newsgroup).

Lovemytessapoo

You definitely have the right ideal. The one comment I will say is that you dont have to entertain dogs. They just want to be part of the family. When you dog looks bored, don't do anything but let her follow you around. Pet her on the head occasionally while you go about your normal house work etc. All dogs can be a good family dog with the right treatment. If you continuously try to entertain her, that is what she will want all the time. Just let her be with you, they enjoy this too. My dog, a shih tzu, has her toys and she plays with them by herself. She does not want you to play with them with her. She would rather you rub her belly while she lays next to you watching tv. You set the tone. Play is okay, but not meant all the time. Also, with this dog being a husky mix, you may want to walk her longer than potty times for exercise(if it isn't too cold where you live, I am in sunny florida) twice a day. This often curbs there activeness in the house, plus gives you the added bonus of exercise and bonding with your dog. If she wants to run too much, bicycle with her. The Dog Whisperer showed a family to hold the leash wrapped around the end of the bike handle and bike at a steady normal pace to give there dog the exercise they need. I agree though, dogs are much more to handle than fish or a cat. Good luck.

aud0806

I'm almost 9 months pregnant with a puppy. It's hard but for me I enjoy it and it's worth it. I couldn't imagine life without her, even when I want to kill her sometimes!

That said, have you thought about a bunny rabbit? I'm just not a big cat person but I do like rabbits. They aren't nearly as much work as a dog and can be a lot of fun. Plus they also get along with cats. Or at least mine did when I baby sit my friends cat.

Shalva

just my thoughts

I am not going to flame you.... I think you made a poor choice of breed but I have to say that I respect that you recognize that this is about you and not because of the dog.... most people are quick to blame the dog.... and they totally don't recognize their role.....

if you are this unhappy and truly don't think that you will be happy in the end... then I do think you should rehome the pup.... for a couple reasons..... as a younger dog he needs to be socialized, trained, and learn to live with people and all of that developement stuff that you are having trouble doing for him.... while it may indeed work out in the end, It sounds to me like you really regret having a dog and the longer yoiu wait the more difficult it will be for your pup..... and I sense that you want to do what is right by him .....

so if it were me....

I would chalk it up to a learning experience,..... take hte responsibility of finding your pup a great home (versus leaving at the shelter) and move on ..... that way your pup will be happy and get what he needs and you will be able to not resent the pup and just go on lesson learned.

just my two cents
s

RonE

I have to say, I did a double-take when I read that.

Shalva

me too ron lolol

ozzy

Well I don't know much about the husky breed so it is possible you are in way over your head with that breed. I have a fairly easy breed to handle so this advice might not apply to you but I had the same feelings in the beginning of having to entertain the dog all the time and basically having no time to myself. I have told other people with new dogs with these feelings that it does get better. I spent the first week feeling like I had given up my life to a little creature. Everytime he was out of the crate I felt like I had to watch him and could not relax so I do know what you are feeling. All I can say is that as he got older (and he's still only 9 months) we are much better at coexisting rather than him being the center of attention all the time. I do think they adjust and will be happy to just be around you, you don't need to always entertain her. I don't know it maybe different with a much more high energy dog though. Good luck!

Dogstar

Ozzy- the thing is, it's not just about energy level, and a lot of it IS breed related.

Huskies aren't just active- not in the way that that even herding breeds are. They like to DO stuff, and they have a low boredom threshold. Having a place to dig, things to shred and chew and rip is a big part of keeping a husky content. Can you toss 'em in the backyard? No, not really- they'll get bored of the same thing all the time- but a lot of husky ownership is, IMO, having a really, really well dog proofed house, lots of toys, other dogs that they can play with (not necessarily that live with them, but at least a buddy who comes over a lot or a neighbor dog to run a fence with- a lot of them seem to enjoy that)- OR a very, very secure outdoor run- OR a lot of indoor confinement. Which of these is ideal? Don't know, theyv'e all got pros and cons. But typically, huskies are a tough breed to get to the 'hang out and don't shred things' stage that is MUCh easier to reach with other dogs just through training.

Tethering CAN work- but tethering is a lot harder to do with a big dog than a small one, and it's hard to find long chain leashes (and tethering with anything that isn't chain won't last long with a bored husky). They really ARE a working breed, and they really need a job- the problem is, most of the 'made' jobs that I (and most people) suggest for busy-type dogs aren't things that appeal to huskies. Fetch? HAH.

I think that huskies are a wonderful breed, but I think they're one of the more difficult breeds to own, despite their many good qualities (they're typically NOT hard to socialize, typically NOT guardy or defensive although they CAN be resource guarders, but not like a lot of the bratty corgis are, and they're usually VERY fast to housebreak.) And I think their popularity means htey can be found easily (husky rescues are ALWAYS full, and puppies can be found VERY cheaply in most parts of the country), they're BEAUTIFUL dogs (even poorly bred ones tend to be fairly sound and strikingly marked) and DARLING puppies (and at 7-8 weeks, they tire out easily enough to have a DEFINATE honeymoon period. :P)

I'm NOT encouraging the OP to give up, but I almost wish that we could sticky this thread (or start a 'if you're considering a (whatever) thread to sticky- because the downside of huskies is VERY real.) There's a downside of every breed, but some, I feel, get overexaggerated on this board (the supposed 'dominance' of GSDs- when a lot of the lower-drive ones make perfectly nice pets; the barkiness of collies (yeah, some are barkers, but a lot- especially in rough lines- aren't) and others don't get emphasized enough.

Elana55

There is nothing wrong with recognizing a mistake. It is only a mistake if it doesn't get corrected.

Now may not be the time for you to have a dog. A dog is a BIG committment. I have cats and the dog and I thought LONG and HARD b4 I got a dog. I spent a LOT of time on this before making the committment. I had dogs in the past and KNEW the issues and researched b4 hand.

Understanding that, I would rehome this dog and, when you want a dog again, you will know what you are getting into.

tigress

Well, I have calmed down some. I think I was also PMSing when I wrote that.

She is a very good dog and I think I need to get used to her and trust her (I think part of my biggest issue is she is a husky mix and all i have read about huskies had me worried. While right now I'm thinking I can handle her, my next dog is not going to be part husky cause I just worry too much about the husky part). I think once we get our fence fixed and I can do some running outside with her she'll be fine (she really is a calm dog and when I have her gated off in the kitchen she will usually calm down and sleep or chew on her rawhide if I just keep her company).

I am going to have to teach her what not to chew and what to chew (part of the problem with letting her out in the living room with me is there is no way to gate her off, I just have to leash her, and I'm trying to get the cats used to her. I've gotten even the timid cat brave enough to come down when she's in the crate, but now that she's in the kitcehn a lot the timid cat has gone back to not wanting to even eat in the kitchen even when she's not in the living room/kitchen area). But I get the feeling that she will eventually be a dog that fits in my lifestyle (I think three walks, my walks are usually 30 minutes and a little omre than 2.5 miles) and some playtime will keep her happy (a lot of her nervous energy is at my friend's house where there are many people and two dogs and that gets her excited).

I think she'll be fine cause she's a pretty accomodating dog (she responds very quickly to uh uh and so far hasn't shown an inclination to chew the furniture at least, thoguh she got a little bottle of stuff we put on our motorcycle visors to defog it and chewed on that when I wasn't looking). And she seems mostly happy once we settle down to eventually settle down herself. I think once I have her more out of hte crate (which is going to get much more now that I think she's housetrained) and with us she'll settle down nicely.

I want to get the timid cat ok with her gated off in the kitchen before I start having her loose in the living room (The other cat is doing great). I would really like the timid cat to eventually be ok with her around because the timid cat is as needy as the dog (I'm her person and I can tell she's been upset cause I haven't been able to give her enough attention).

Anyways, I definitely think I'll give her a chance and I'm getting more confident that I think she is a dog I can handle and htat my original inclination about her is right (I think even if I some reason didn't keep her whoever had her is going to be very very lucky. But I think right now I feel like I'm going to be the lucky one. I've never thought she was a bad dog even when I was freaking out I couldn't handle her and in general think she's one of the best ones out there... she catches on to things quickly, she's very sweet, she gets along with dogs even when they are being aggressive - today she still wanted to play with a black lab who was not wanting her in his territory, she seems to be good wtih cats, she's very responsive and seems to not want to anger her owner, she's getting very good about not pulling on her walks - she still does some but I'm finding I don't have to turn around much anymore to correct her, she's gorgeous - yeah looks shoudln't be a major thing but hey, all this and looks , and she does not even have to be constantly getting attention it seems once she settles down).

Anyways, I'm hoping I can teach her to play soccer with me cause I think that would be fun and she'd like doing all the running.

Gypsy22

We were told our dog was a lab mix when we asked about her (we saw her on Petfinder). I was thinking, lovely, a nice breed, good with kids.

I find out she's 'at least' pointer now. I have no idea about them except they get big and are high energy. She's a lovely puppy but I do have to keep on my toes. I am also used to 'older dogs' and I never raised a puppy!

Lovemytessapoo

Tigress, sounds like you are doing a great job so far. Just keep up the work, maybe the husky side of her personality is recessive and she will always be as calm, gentle and able to follow commands as she is now. Good luck with whatever your decision.

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