When did you know it was time?

sweetea · 04-21-2007, 07:28 AM

Hello, I was posting on the health board because my 10 year old Shitzu has been having a lot of health problems.
He had perineal hernia surgery last month but the hernia has already come back and he is very thin and has kidney disease(regulated by food).
The vet has told me he isnt going to get better but the hernia may be regulated by meds but he would have to get an enema every few weeks.

The thing is, when he is not constipated, he is full of life... like a puppy again, but, I dont think it is fair for him to keep having the episodes where he has to get enema's, the whole thing is so painful for him.

I dont want to wait until he is in constant suffering to put him to sleep....but it is hard to think about on the good days.

He has only had the hernia problem since January.

So, I was wondering, when did you know it was time to put your dog to sleep?

Thanks for your advice

RonE · 04-21-2007, 07:43 AM

I'm sorry you and your dog are going through this.

Here's what we did with a dog who was having good days and bad days with the bad days starting to outnumber the good ones and becoming intolerable and increasingly painful. We made the appointment with the vet a week ahead of time. This gave my college age son a chance to come home and be here. We spent the week, or at least the good days during the week, doing all the stuff he loved to do.

We took walks - just very short walks. He ate meals that he had probably dreamed about for 14 years. My wife drove him around town in her convertible with the top down. We went to the dog park and took a very leisurely lap around the park. We even took him to the beach and played a very toned down version of fetch.

Everybody got a chance to say goodbye and get at least some of the crying out of the way - certainly not all of it.

It had come down to this. Most of the time, he wasn't having any fun. His mind and his body were abandoning him at the same time. On bad days, he couldn't recognize me. On other bad days, he struggled to walk a few steps from his bed to his water dish and he wouldn't eat for days.

I am certain that, if he could have spoken, he would have said, "It's been a blast, but please let me move on. I'll see you later."

Dogs are the most unselfish creatures in the world. There comes a time in there lives when we need to be unselfish and think, not about how badly we're going to miss them, but about how much they are suffering and what a relief it must be to just go gently to sleep.

Good luck to you. I know you'll do the right thing.

German Shepherd Lover · 04-21-2007, 08:34 AM

I knew it was time to put my beautiful German Shepherd (pictured) when he could no longer enjoy life. He sufferered from Lymphoma and lost 20 lbs in three weeks. We kept him comfortable with predisone and other drugs to give him as good a quality of life as possible. I put him to sleep when he couldn't support himself and stopped eating. It was a very had time in my life but it was the only humane choice for the dog.

I still suspect that the yearly vaccinations where the reason he got lymphoma. I have since done a lot of research on vaccinations and there recommended schedules. He was perfectly healthy in September and received his vaccinations and dead in December.

Good luck with your dog...

Victoria · 04-21-2007, 04:33 PM

We lost our Shihtzu in October. He was 10. It nearly killed me because he was my best friend. He had a skin problem that became systemic and he smelled terrible. I worked for two years on every kind of medical and homeopathic treatment. Like the other owner had mentioned when the bad days outweigh the good. I could not decide how much more to do for Rascal. Finally we found a skin specialist and wow after two years and about 1000 dollars later...he began to clear! But by then his body had taken a toll. He developed a heart murmur. He became inactive and did not want any of his favorite foods. I would go back and forth because he would seem to perk up. Then he began panting constantly and I knew he was in respiratory distress. He stayed up all night. The next day I took him to the vet and he said that even though his skin was clearing, he did not have much time. We just had been to the specialist four days prior and had another 600 dollar bill. Anyhow, I took my son out of school and called my husband home. We spent the day with Rascal and it hurt to look at him. I was so sad. My son panicked as we took him out of the car at the Vet to put him down. He said, "Mom, he is not ready! (he is 17)." When we went into the vet's office and we layed Rascal down, he looked at us and at Josh, my son, and passed on his own even before being injected! I think he did this for Josh because he was so afraid we may not have been making the right decision. My prayers are with you on your decision. I never cried so hard! But he is at peace. We have two new puppies now which do not take his place but they are beginning to ease the suffering and make us smile.

sweetea · 04-22-2007, 10:34 PM

Reading your stories brought tears to my eyes....I cried myself to sleep last night just thinking about all of the times I have had with scooby. He had a great day today and we went to the park. He is as playful as a puppy today. I know he will be like this for a couple of weeks and then possibly get constipated again and have to go in for an enema. he is taking lactulose right now that makes it easier for him to have bowel movements with his hernias.
I know what you mean about the bills Victoria, his surgery last month was $1500 and his visit a few days ago was $600, I couldnt believe the costs. Thats not including a lot of small vet bills. I am upset also that his hernia repair came undone only a month after having the surgery, and I used the best surgeon I could find. I wouldnt have put him through that if I thought the repair would come undone so easily, the doc. did not tell me.

I know there is nothing I can do about that though, I will remember your advice about the good days vs. bad days. Right now he is having a few good weeks and then a couple of bad days. Scooby has been on a low protein diet for years and he loves chicken so much. When prepare to make that decision I am going to make him the best chicken ever !

Ðanisty · 06-06-2007, 08:31 AM

When my collie was limping constantly and only got up to find a more comfortable position to lay down, I knew it was time for her. She was less responsive to us too...like she didn't even have the energy to acknowledge us even though we could tell she really wanted to.

I read that because a dog sees their owner as the pack leader, they trust that their owner is making the right decisions for them. This means if the owner believes they need to keep going on, the dog will accept that. I didn't want her to feel like we wanted her to suffer.

The day we planned to go through with it, we took some pictures of her and snuggled with her all day. She's the one who actually got up and walked to the front door and waited for us. I feel like she was ready. It was really, really hard, but I don't regret the decision at all. I think I did the best thing I could for her.

I think it really helps to do your research and know what you want ahead of time. We decided that we both wanted to be present. I guess that's not the best option for a lot of people, but we wanted to be the last thing she remembered before she fell asleep. We wanted her to be comfortable. We chose to have her cremated and I researched every pet cremation place in the area ahead of time and talked to them about it. I'm really glad we did because the place we chose was so kind to us. If you think the time is coming up, I would go ahead and plan how you want to do things. It really makes it so much easier the day you have to do it.

Janis Hornet · 06-10-2007, 10:18 AM

I feel your pain. I had to have my dog, Susie put to sleep about 5 weeks ago. She was 12 years old and had several strokes in the a 2 week period. Every time we'd take her to the vet, we'd get our hopes up. My husband and I had discussed it. We both agree when they get to the point where there are more bad days than good, then it will be time. I've had to put 2 other puppies down and one cat. My husband said it would be better to let them go with dignity then to let them suffer. I agree. We also have 2 other older dogs, both 14 and although it will be the hardest thing in the world, if they start suffering I will let them go. You will know in your heart when it's time. My prayers are with you, but you will know in your heart that you've made the right decision and if you do have to put him down, he will thank you for giving him his dignity.

SammyDog · 06-11-2007, 07:16 PM

My old dog sammy was the greatest dog i could ever ask for. Big old dog that was 80lbs. We knew it was time for him when he lost weight so fast each week. My dad scheduled him to be put down a couple days before. It was hard to do but it was the best thing. He lived to 15 before we put him down. Just spend every moment with him/her and appreciate it.

GreyhoundGirl · 06-11-2007, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RonE

I'm sorry you and your dog are going through this.

Here's what we did with a dog who was having good days and bad days with the bad days starting to outnumber the good ones and becoming intolerable and increasingly painful. We made the appointment with the vet a week ahead of time. This gave my college age son a chance to come home and be here. We spent the week, or at least the good days during the week, doing all the stuff he loved to do.

We took walks - just very short walks. He ate meals that he had probably dreamed about for 14 years. My wife drove him around town in her convertible with the top down. We went to the dog park and took a very leisurely lap around the park. We even took him to the beach and played a very toned down version of fetch.

Everybody got a chance to say goodbye and get at least some of the crying out of the way - certainly not all of it.

It had come down to this. Most of the time, he wasn't having any fun. His mind and his body were abandoning him at the same time. On bad days, he couldn't recognize me. On other bad days, he struggled to walk a few steps from his bed to his water dish and he wouldn't eat for days.

I am certain that, if he could have spoken, he would have said, "It's been a blast, but please let me move on. I'll see you later."

Dogs are the most unselfish creatures in the world. There comes a time in there lives when we need to be unselfish and think, not about how badly we're going to miss them, but about how much they are suffering and what a relief it must be to just go gently to sleep.

Good luck to you. I know you'll do the right thing.

I shed a few tears over that... That was very beautiful, RonE...

I've never had any of my dogs put down, they all died very suddenly, they are missed all the same.

Juliet5381 · 07-22-2007, 11:50 PM

Our 13 yr old rottie/shepherd mix Dog Zack had Cancer and he died a year ago today (july 23, 2006). We had arranged for the vet to come to the house so that it would be less stressful. We knew it was time when he wasn't able to eat, was weak and just had this look in his eyes that he was ready. They start to lose there dignity and there joy. There eyes say it all. Actually, Zack died on his own the day before the appintment in out living room with all of us around him. We all petted him and told him it was ok to go. Earlier that morning he walked around and said his goodbyes. His soul left his body and his beautiful eyes but his body stayed strong for a little while after. He passed away qucikly and painlessly. We knew if we tried to take him to the vet he would have died in the car- we wanted him to go at home where he felt safe. It was better he died on his own terms my father was very torn about putting him to sleep because he felt like giving up on him and Zack loved my father more than anything.

Putting your dog down is a difficult decission but in the end when the bad days outweigh the good its the right thing to do.

7thHeaven · 07-23-2007, 12:22 AM

When the bad days outnumber the good ones...it's time...

-Jess

Cobalt · 07-27-2007, 08:29 PM

I am sorry, it's just so hard. But, the wondering and waiting is harder than when it actually happens. We waited until she was in pain, that was our deciding factor.

They get worse, then better etc. It's a rollercoaster of emotion.

One morning it was time and we couldn't get there fast enough. I think we waited a bit too long but everyone had to agree.

((( hugs )))

LeRoymydog · 07-28-2007, 03:02 PM

I just put my english bulldog, Max to sleep this past February. Just let me tell ya, you'll know when it time. They tell you with their eyes. They tell ya with their body.

I know very well, that it's hard to be unselfish when it comes to the sick dogs in our lives. We have to do what's best for them. They are your friends, and will be forever your friend.

I'm still healing from Max's death. At first I thought time doesn't heal. It's getting better every day. I still talk about him as if he's still with me; because I know he is.

Here's a good website that has info about healing and the rainbow bridge. Please take a look:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/

Steph

Debbie P · 07-28-2007, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RonE

I'm sorry you and your dog are going through this.

Here's what we did with a dog who was having good days and bad days with the bad days starting to outnumber the good ones and becoming intolerable and increasingly painful. We made the appointment with the vet a week ahead of time. This gave my college age son a chance to come home and be here. We spent the week, or at least the good days during the week, doing all the stuff he loved to do.

We took walks - just very short walks. He ate meals that he had probably dreamed about for 14 years. My wife drove him around town in her convertible with the top down. We went to the dog park and took a very leisurely lap around the park. We even took him to the beach and played a very toned down version of fetch.

Everybody got a chance to say goodbye and get at least some of the crying out of the way - certainly not all of it.

It had come down to this. Most of the time, he wasn't having any fun. His mind and his body were abandoning him at the same time. On bad days, he couldn't recognize me. On other bad days, he struggled to walk a few steps from his bed to his water dish and he wouldn't eat for days.

I am certain that, if he could have spoken, he would have said, "It's been a blast, but please let me move on. I'll see you later."

Dogs are the most unselfish creatures in the world. There comes a time in there lives when we need to be unselfish and think, not about how badly we're going to miss them, but about how much they are suffering and what a relief it must be to just go gently to sleep.

Good luck to you. I know you'll do the right thing.

Thank you so much for this reply, Ron. It brought tears to my eyes.

I was also wondering. As I am going through the same thing with my 14-year-old Maltese, Daisy. The vet assured me I would know when it's time. And he, basically told me the same thing you did.

I fear the time is drawing near. I'm taking her to Northern California next weekend, we live in So Cal. She will see my son, and DIL for the last time.

I'm going to miss her terribly. She's been such a good girl. I pray God gives me the strength, and wisdom, when the time comes.

Lorina · 07-28-2007, 03:39 PM

I always heard "you'll know when it's time," but in my case, I didn't. I had an 18 year old cat with kidney and heart failure, and she wasn't doing well, but always responded to treatment and medication. She seemed content. She purred. She joined me in bed every night. She ate well, with the help of an appetite stimulant. She had enough spunk to beat up my then two year old cat who was almost three times her weight.

So it was really hard to believe, "Yep, this is the end," when it really was the end. She was open mouth breathing, sometimes gasping, but she'd done that before, and a stronger diuretic was all she needed. It took solid evidence for me to make up my mind. That evidence was her xrays, taken at the emergency clinic on Thankgiving Day last year, which showed so much fluid in and around her lungs that you couldn't even see her heart. I don't claim to be an expert on heart disease, but I did know that fluid in the lung -- a diuretic can take care of that. Fluid outside the lungs would have required a chest tap, which would have likely killed her, and the condition that made her chest fill would still be there. At very most, the procedure would have given her a day or two. I couldn't put her through that. And I couldn't let her "die naturally," which would have been basically drowning in her own chest. If it was time to say goodbye, I wanted to be with her, petting her and telling her I loved her, not on an operating table surrounded by strangers or alone in the middle of the night.

We made the decision, and she was gone before the syringe was even emptied. It was a relief to see her at peace.

kendallj · 07-29-2007, 10:36 PM

I'm sorry that you have to be going through this... but one thing that I have learned on this site is that dogs live for three things... eating, playing, and sleeping. When they can no longer do those things without discomfert it is time to let them go. As someone above has said they are the most unselfish creatures and sometimes it takes an unselfish act from us to end their suffering... if your dog is in pain and there is no way to stop that pain (although it can be temperarily) your main priority is to think if the small number of good days really do out weigh the bad... if he keeps relapsing I'm sure he's not enjoying it. I recently had to sit down with a friend to help her make this difficult dicision about her 1 year old boxer... Thank goodness they vets figured out what was wrong with him and she didn't have to go through with it... only you can tell if your dog is truly in pain and if being on meds is worth it to your dog.... I send you my prayers to help you through this!

rsculady · 08-07-2007, 11:25 AM

I am sitting her crying as I read this because today is the day that I have to say good-bye to my Angel and I can't bear the thought of it. We have had him nearly 8 yrs and he is the only dog I have ever had to put down. He is the only dog my youngest son remembers(he is 9) and has been the best dog I could ever ask for. I know it is time for me to do something about it because he is not sleeping, he is in pain a lot of the time even with the pain pills and sometimes he eats but most of the time not. People always say "you can see it in their eyes" but Angel has no eyes. He has been blind since he was two and even though we have had him nearly 8 yrs, he has not physically changed at all. He is a piebald husky so there is no grey hair or any tell-tale signs. I wish you the best in your decision as I now know personally that it is not an easy one under any circumstances.

wabanafcr · 08-07-2007, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rsculady

I am sitting her crying as I read this because today is the day that I have to say good-bye to my Angel and I can't bear the thought of it. We have had him nearly 8 yrs and he is the only dog I have ever had to put down.

It sounds to me like Angel has been wonderful. I don't know if this will help or not, but when faced with this type of decision, I try to tell myself that euthanasia is the last, best gift I can give to a dog that has been my best friend. It is about THEM and what is right for their peace and well-being and dignity, and it is not for me at all. It is the hardest gift to give, and the one that hurts the deepest, but really it is the best for them.

Good luck, and know that Angel will be close to you always.

Anela · 10-03-2007, 04:36 PM

Like others here, I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Making this incredible decision is an individual one that you must take comfort in. That does not make it any easier, right decisions sometimes can be very painful.

When I was forced to make the same decision, for me, watching my friend suffer was more than I could take, when I had within my power to end it.

All of the advice above is something you can read over many times, but you alone are the one that is going to have to decide.

Anela

Jak · 10-04-2007, 04:28 AM

I could barely read this thread, it gets me so emotional. I've never been in this situation, as a new pet owner, but I can totally sympathize. I'm truly sorry for you and and anyone else dealing with making that decision. I agree with everything already said, the most important thing is to enjoy whatever time you have left. Be strong!