[Lyons9890]

I got my dog Gunner when I was just 4 years old. I am 16 now and he was put to sleep last night. To be honest I have never dealt with a bigger loss than this. I love him so much, and he was the only living thing that I could just come home and hug for hours to take away the stress, or sadness or anything like that. He was extremly quiet, loyal, and responded to a lot of things. He could sit, shake, lay, bark, and roll over on command. He got excited when you would yell "Gunner wanna treat?" ... or "Wanna go for a walk??"...and best of all when my loud garage door would open and my mom's car would roll through i would yell "Mommy's hoooome!", and he would jump up. We took him for lots of walks when he was younger and my mom used to run with him about 7-8 miles every day (Ya i know).


For the past year he has been showing small signs that he was getting old. It wasnt till a month (or mayble less then that) ago when he was too scared to go down the stairs because of his weak bones. My Dad and I had to carry him down, and it hurt pretty bad knowing that he was that far in life. Then just a few weeks ago, he could barely walk...he was panting when he walked and with a huge limp also. That got worse and he wasnt able to get up anymore...we were giving him maybe 3 medications at the time. The vet then wanted to try a shot treatment, where he would go in and get 2 shots a week....if this didnt work then the vet was going to recomend to us to put him to sleep. The shots worked! He was walking around with a slight limp but his mood changed completly. He was never wagging his tail, or showing any signs of happiness before, but now he looked like the happiest dog in the world. This was a really happy time for me, but it didnt last long, because soon he went right back into that state of almost complete disablility. History repeated itself, and we got Gunner back on track this time with testosterone, but we knew deep down that if this happened again we couldn't just keep buying him little time. One last time he went back to being really sick, and it still amazed us at how quickly the transistion was.-- I woke up the next morning and the first thing my dad told me was that we were probably going to have to put him to sleep soon. He gave me this warning a few weeks before also and it was really hard to hear because both times he choked on his words and broke down into tears.--Maybe a day later, I could see that Gunner was officially suffering. My Gunner, my Gunz, my Poochy, was struggling with every breath. Hyperventilating every once in a while, trying his hardest to breathe through just his nose, and of course holding his strong urge to go to the bathroom because he wouldnt dare to do it in the house. So we decided to do it on Thursday. I came home from practice (rowing) at maybe 11am, ran straight to Gunner who was lying in his bed, and i just laid there, hugging him...doing what i did every day but this time it was supposed to be some kind of final bonding time with him. It felt no different. I was with him for a few hours, falling asleep off and on when i woke up to my mom weeping on the phone telling my dad "I just can't do it...he looks too alert today...I feel like im killing him!"-- so we decided to wait through the weekend, but yesterday was his worst day. Halfway through the day was when he started to breath so heavily and so fast that it looked like every breath was going to be his last. When I came home from practice that night, my sister told me that my parents took Gunner to the vet to get another shot and they would call me if they needed me. I did not want that call. Of course 3 minutes later my cell phone vibrated and it scared me almost as much as carrying him down the steps did to me that one day a few weeks ago. My mom told me that the vet was going to come over to the house that night, so we spent a few hours just hugging him and holding him. Right when the vet rang the doorbell was when i just completly broke down. How was i supposed to have a satisfying farewell to my best friend in the world? I kissed him on the side of his face and watched the vet put the first shot it. I couldnt watch the rest, so i just went upstairs and cried and cried and cried.



I never once looked at Gunner as something less then me. I never thought of him as a pet, but as a best friend who was ALWAYS there. Now that Gunner is gone, I am still trying hard to pull through every hour of the day. Its only been less then half a day that i have lived a life without him, and yet it feels like more. Yesterday I lost so much . Please help.

[RonE]

Do what you're doing. Tell stories about Gunner, post pictures and let everyone know why he was the best dog ever.

You won't ever forget him, but that numbing pain does get better with time. I put my lab down almost two years ago and now I can actually think about him without crying like a baby - sometimes at least.

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry your first post had to be so full of pain, but you're in the right place. Nobody here is going to say, "He was just a dog. Get over it or get a new one."

[lovemygreys]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been there too many times (even once is too many times )

This site helped me tremendously when I had to help my first greybaby to the Bridge: www.pet-loss.net

[DebbieD]

So sorry that you've had to experience this.

It's never easy to say goodbye to someone we love.
You are very lucky to have had this wonderful dog in your life and
it will get easier with time.

[Lyons9890]

Thanks guys

All of your replies have put me in tears . But it feels much better when i cry, then when i am just sitting, staring, and thinking. -- In about a months time we are going to go out and get two yellow lab puppies. I just don't know how its going to be the same without Gunner.

[Elijah]

Do what you're doing. Tell stories about Gunner, post pictures and let everyone know why he was the best dog ever.

Ron is very right here. Anyone who has lost a pet knows the pain and denial of having lost them. We don't want to believe it really happened...1st phase. The reality that they really are gone begins to set in...2nd phase. We begin to be angry about "why couldn't the vet have done something"...phase 3. Persistent pain and crying will set in and you may find yourself going over every photo taken, any videos you may have and going to some favorite places you've been with him/her and reflecting on the good times you've had. Then, you'll cry some more.

I don't know why the loss of a pet seems so intensely devastating as it is but, it seems to be. When Katie was PTS, I cried and fumed for about three weeks...daily. That was nearly five months ago and I still look at pictures/videos of her. Sometimes I smile and sometimes I still cry...not ashamed to admit it either and don't you. We have to get these emotions out because if you harbor them and don't talk about it, the healing process will be much longer and more painful.

You won't find another Gunner as they all have their personalities just as we do. You will be able to find one that you can love and cherish just as much, however, but; it won't be the same. So, don't expect too much too soon. You're very lucky to have had Gunner for 12 years and I hope the pain subsides for you soon.

[RonE]

If you haven't already, read through some of the other posts on this memorial forum. People always say, "I know how you feel." Usually, it's just something people say but here people really do know how you feel.

I often wonder why losing my dog two years ago was actually more painful than losing my father a year ago. I adored my father, but he died on his 99th birthday after living an exceptionally long and full life.

Dogs don't live long enough. You get a puppy and, in a blink, you've got a 14-year-old dog facing the end of his life. It's not fair, but I guess it's best that they normally don't outlive us. A dog losing a human is just about the saddest thing there is.

I lied when I said I can think about my lab without crying. I cry when I think about him and when I think about Gunner and all the great dogs that good people have lost.

But what really makes me insane is the dogs who never had any kind of life at all because they were discarded, neglected or abused. At least you did everything you could for Gunner and made him a very happy guy while he was with you.

[Elijah]

Here's what Cesar Millan had to say about this...

Why do we bond so strongly with a species that has a much shorter lifespan, pretty much guaranteeing a grieving experience as our pets grow older and die before us?

"Birth, life, death is a cycle. And they're all beautiful, you celebrate all of them," He says about the pet owner's inevitable heartbreak.

"Animals do grieve, but they move on. That's the lesson behind animals."

It's difficult when you face the end of your pets life and we all see it differently but,I think the primal emotions are pretty much the same. The difference is how long and to what degree we grieve. I experienced much the same as Ron here in that during my grieving process over Katie, my own sister told me I needed to "get a better handle on this...you're more upset over Katie than you were when Mom died".

Not entirely true but, Mom lived to be 86 and I had her for a long time. I was holding her hand in the hospital when the breath of life left her. I only had Katie in my life for two and a half years and wasn't present when she died and I was totally shocked that she had been euthanized while I was away, so; I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye. That was part of the difference.

[PopeHandy]

I'm soooo sorry about Gunner's passing. Gunner was a GREAT dog and true family member. We have had to put many beloved pets to sleep over the years and it's always hard. Earlier this week I did a blog post on going to our park and it featured Bella (our black lab) in particular. You can see she has the same enthusiasm about certain questions as Gunner did. You will never forget Gunner and you have our deepest sympathies on his passing....

Aunt Mary

[Lyons9890]

[RonE]

What a magnificient, noble-looking dog.

[Lyons9890]

Thanks Ron

I just came home frome a movie, and it hit pretty hard when Gunner wasn't there to greet my family and I

[tishhandy]

Worse than the loss of Gunner, is the seeing the loss of innocence in your 16 year old son, who has never had to deal with the death of a loved one, much less his best friend. I'm proud of you Geoffrey, I'm hurting so much over this, as you know I couldn't even go to the bathroom without Gunner following me, but what hurts more than anything, is seeing your tears, seeing your loss and knowing I can't do anything to fix it. I love you, and I'm really proud of you! xoxo Mom

[RonE]

Another thing that really helps get through this is a supportive family.

All four of went to the vet when we put Cubby down. When we come afterwards, we went to different parts of the house and nobody talked at all.

After a few hours, we found each other. There was some kind of unspoken mutual agreement. And we started sharing stories. "Remember when Cubby ate 72 cookies?" "Remember when he crashed through the ice on the river, pulled himself out and then wanted to go back and do it again?" I'm still telling those stories on the Dog Forums and it helps.

I grew up hearing stories from my dad about the dogs he grew up with. He, and I, both passed those stories on to my children. I expect they will become part of the family history and all those great dogs will never be forgotten.

You can do that too, Geoffrey.

[Lyons9890]

Is Cubby the one that is in your avatar? Cause I can tell that dog and Gunner could have been best friends lol.

[RonE]

No, that is Esther the Plott hound - the current love of my life.

Here's a link to my memorial post for Cubby on this forum, along with some pictures. He was a big, magnificent lab with a facial expression not unlike your Gunner. I don't know if I'll ever be able to have another lab because I'd always be making comparisons.

http://www.dogforums.com/18-pet-memo...-dogzilla.html

If you ever do get another dog, we all know it won't be a replacement, but sometimes it does help fill a part of the void. I am enjoying Esther for who she is, and she is as un-Cubby-like as she can be.

Forgive me if this sounds sappy, but it would not surprise me at all if Cubby and Gunner are romping together somewhere right now.

I forgot to mention that two of Cubby's best friends were big yellow labs named Bob and Reggie.

[Lyons9890]

Not sappy at all, i believe it.

And we are going to get a yellow lab puppy as soon as we can. It will be hard knowing that this puppy never met Gunner, but hopefully just being in the same enviornment and experiencing the same love as Gunner did, it will become somewhat of a son/daughter of him

[RonE]

That's a good and healthy way of looking at it.

I used to think I was just exceedingly lucky with dogs. I've had three terrific rescue dogs in a row.

I finally decided I was comfortable taking at least some of the credit. Dogs are largely a product of their environments and, when you provide the right mix of love, exercise and training, you're very likely to end up with a great dog.

[Lyons9890]

Well it may seem pretty soon but we just got an 8 week old yellow lab -- The pup is as cute as a button and we still havn't come up with a name yet but weve almost agreed on 'Mitus'-- I guess i will make a new thread with pics of him in his new home

[Maril]

Wow. What a lucky boy Gunner was/is - for I have to believe my friends will be waiting for me on the other side. He was a lovely boy, and to live his life surrounded by a loving, supportive family - well, it doesn't get much better than that. I've just been bawling through the intire thread, as I've buried so many dear ones over the years, all special, all their own souls. But the pup made me smile, as he will your family. IMO there's no greater legacy than to honor your love of a wonderful dog by sharing your loving home with another. When I lose one friend, I surround myself with my others to console me. Best of luck and many happy years ahead.