| Misty And Me
* MISTY & ME - JUST FOR NOW *
To The Special People In My Life -
When time permits, please read this with an open mind. You may think it is too dramatic and the only thing I can say to that is that for me, this is real.
Please know that I have not forgotten all the ways I am continually blessed and for all of the special people, family, friends and four-legged creatures that have been and those who still are in my life. I know that all of you have problems and difficulties too. I am very aware of the horrible things that are happening all around us and how people are suffering and doing with far less than most of us. I also am well aware that sometimes I am not the most desirable person to be around or to talk to, especially now. Moreover, I know that life is not all about me.
Having said all that - Just for now, know that my heart is broken. Just for now, I feel an overwhelming sadness that no words can describe. Just for now, I want GOD and everyone here on this earth that I am close to, to understand that however strange and unacceptable it may seem; I miss Misty from the depths of my being. Yes, Misty was a dog. She was a sickly animal that came into my life to Love and be Loved. We have spent a lot of time together, especially in the last six or seven months since I have been unemployed and have not been out of the house very often; when I have, it has not been for any long periods of time.
So, just for now, please know that however strange all of this may sound, I am feeling a great ache in my heart and am having real trouble dealing with the emptiness. The unconditional Love and acceptance Misty shared with Chloe ( my other Lab) and I cannot be explained in mere words. She is no longer here to wag her tail and greet me or to go for rides in the car. She is no longer looking at me with her trusting eyes letting me know that she knew I loved her for so many reasons. She is no longer taking walks with us or lying in her special places. She is no longer here for me to pet and tell her I love her. Misty is no longer here, except for in my heart, and just for now, that is not enough.
* Misty, my beautiful black Lab, died at approximately 3:45 PM on
Wednesday 7/22/09 *
(I wrote the above message the day Misty died. I had hoped that this would explain my feelings and help people to understand my despair. Now, it is over a month since she died and I still miss her terribly. I also am feeling extremely guilty for taking her to the Vet to be "put to sleep". I am living in my own private H... Misty came to me in May of 2008. She was very skinny, sickly and old. I had forgotten to close my garage door the night before and when I went to take Chloe for a walk the next morning I found her laying inside my garage on a rug. Of course I checked around the neighborhood to see if her owner's were looking for her. Nothing came of that and she quickly became a new member of the family. I took her to several Vets hoping one would agree to provide a "magic pill" to make her all better. I was able to get rid of all the ticks, worms etc., though I was never able to get the "magic pill" that would take care of whatever was causing her to have stomach/digestive problems, congestive heart disease, arthritis and hearing and seeing issues. I was not able to afford all the bloodwork and possible surgeries that may have determined what was going on inside of her; such as possible cancer or other diseases. All I could do was love her, be with her and make her as comfortable as possible. She improved for awhile and she seemed happy. She was not in pain, she was eating (though not gaining weight - you could still visually count her ribs), she was sleeping comfortably and she was wagging her tail. Throughout all of this Misty was always kind and loving.
To make this already long story a little shorter - Her health began to really deteriorate and I made what I felt was the right decision - I took her to Vet for the very last time. All I can say is, if that was the right decision, why am I feeling so guilty? We do not take old people to the Dr. and ask for a shot to end their life. I know I cannot change what I did, nor can I bring her back, though I truly wish I had the opportunity.
I miss my Misty. I named her Misty because she mysteriously came into my life. | 
