| Why I'll miss my Kahlua
When Kyle and I came home from Canada on the 12th, Kahlua couldn't even lift her head up to say hello. We immediately took her to the vet and decided that letting go would be the best thing we could do for her. It was so hard for me to do. I couldn't stand the idea of coming with her and leaving without her.
But, we knew there was nothing else to be done. She was surrounded by myself and her family until the last minute, and that's how I think she wanted it.
She was my first dog. After my parents got divorced, my father and I almost immediately got Kahlua, and a week later, took her sister Ruffles home so she could have a friend. I always loved how she would slap you with her paw when she thought you needed to pet her more. She made the cutest grunting noises when she was being pet. She made the most appreciative expression when you pet her across her soft little head- she could sit there ALL day if you pet her head. Even though she was the laziest of the three dogs, she'd run across the country for a good piece of ham.
It wasn't until a few years back that she started to have problems with cancer. It was managable up until about a month ago, when she started to go downhill. I think she stayed around for the holidays for me. I'm so thankful that we got to take a lot of pictures, including last year's Christmas card. Kyle took the most adorable pictures of her when I was giving her her last bath. I think she wanted to wait until we got home from vacation this week to let us know that she was ready.
I am so heartbroken that I can't cuddle with her again, or that I'll never wake up and see her waiting patiently for breakfast in her dog bed. But, I'm trying my best to realize that we had such a good time together, and that I took the best care of her that I possibly could. But, like I said before, she was my first dog and I've never had to go through something like this. It really sucks. I miss her SO, so much. I don't even think the other dogs have realized it yet. But I can truly say that the pain on her face was completely gone by the time the vet gave her the sedative. She just looked so peaceful. I know it's selfish to wish she was back here in my arms, but I know it wouldn't have been fair for her. By yesterday, I really think she was toughing it out for me, not for herself.
I want to thank everyone who gave me advice on the forum I wrote a couple of months back. I got almost one wonderful extra year with Kahlua, and the quality of life was GREAT, thank you very much. I don't regret a second of it.
I'm thankful to Kyle and my family for helping us through everything, and to all of my friends who have helped me out and supported me. I'll never forget Kahlua and there will never be a dog quite like her. I'm so glad my friends got to know her before she passed. She was such a good dog. I'll miss you so much, Kahlua. I love you. | 
