Seperating grief and "life"..

borzoimom · 03-27-2008, 02:48 PM

I am still working on this. I go from okay- excited on galinas pups coming to crying over stupid things associated with Hottie. I am taking b complex and it does seem to help. My mind can seperate the two events but my heart has them linked together and that is not always a help. "Logic" seems to go out the window here. I go from totally functioning, then something dumb sets off tears. ( I found hotties woozle the other day and spent on and off for over an hour doing nothing but cry..- its a stupid stuffed animal for god sake but held it and cried.. tell me thats not reallllllly stupid..)

Sugar Daddy Otis · 03-27-2008, 03:13 PM

And you will continue working on this for a while longer... I lost my Brutus this past august and I still cry about once a week over him. There was a big slobber slinger on the wall that I refused to clean off until just a few weeks ago...I try holding on to every last remnant I have of him- even if it is dried up slobber half way up the wall!!
Hang in there, you are doing fine...keep your mind on these pups coming and taking care of Galina- they sure will help you through, just like Otis is still helping me through Brutus' passing 7 months later.

borzoimom · 03-27-2008, 03:15 PM

Bless your heart.. I hope you are right..

gills · 03-27-2008, 04:10 PM

It's going to take time, borzoimom. I lost Jake in August too, and I still cry for him. It comes over me so unexpectedly, the weirdest things set me off. But the bouts of sadness get further apart all the time, and in between it's just happy memories. One day it will all be happy memories, but I don't know how long that takes. My new dog has helped enormously, and I'm sure your pups will too.

Alygi · 03-27-2008, 04:22 PM

It's going to take some time, Michelle. I lost my cat, Sophie, almost 5 years ago and I found myself crying over her for whatever reason the other day.

It's okay to cry. Crying helps you to get through this, even though it might not seem like it. Crying is relieving your pain. Don't hold back the tears.

*HUGS*

borzoimom · 03-27-2008, 04:25 PM

thank you .. I feel the same way.. I think I am doing fine, I know what happened did- but stupid things keep tripping me. Doing okay and fine- do something - tears..

digits mama · 03-27-2008, 05:38 PM

It will take time..Little things will pop up for months that will bring you into a spiral of greif..Eventually you will cry and when thats done you will smile.

I hang on to my memories of my boy ..The time spans will get longer between the tears, But I probably will never stop aching for him.
Hugs Michelle

Inga · 03-27-2008, 06:11 PM

I don't think it is stupid at all. IF it is I am in trouble. I have been crying over the loss of my old girl since before she passed. Then she passed only a little over 2 weeks before Carsten came. (He was planned well before) Now with the death of my horse yesterday, I burst into tears every little while. I can still see them, feel them, smell them. I can picture the funny little things they each did. I miss them so much there is no way of putting into words the hurt I feel from losing my Angels. I completely understand how you feel.

Julie4817 · 04-08-2008, 01:57 PM

Losing a pet is no laughing matter. I'm sorry for everyone's loss. Each pet has it's purpose in life - to help out thier owners in some way or another. Sometimes it helps other owners as well watching how the dog and the owner interact.

No dog can replace the dog we all had, but it's a must to have a great understanding that life will go on. There will be other dogs for us to take under our wings. There will be people begging us to share our tips and secrets from our experiences with our dogs.

I've been through many losses of pets. Pet rats, turtles, cats, dogs, rabbits, snakes... my family and I have had our share. A funny story though. In a condo I spent a good 5 years of my childhood in, everytime one of our beloved pets would pass away, we would burry the pet in the backyard. After 5 years, our backyard was literally a pet cemetary. Well, financial times for our single mother were getting hard for her to work with so we were forced to move. Months later walking home from school, I passed by our old condo. I noticed that all the windows and doors were wide open! No body looked like they had moved in yet. The condo actually looked pretty good... re-painted, new carpet, everything! "Strange" I thought. Being curious I glanced inside wondering who was in there. I finally found a group of workers in the backyard re-landscaping!!!

My mouth dropped, face went numb.. I half wanted to cry, half wanted to laugh.... those workers are going to find a few surprises in that yard!!

Jwalker

http://http://julie314.bezoogle.com/pp/dog-training/

Dana1384 · 04-10-2008, 10:58 AM

It is not stupid at all, you lost a loved one that was abig part of your life. I still cry over Stu, but Thumper helps, and little things he does reminds me of Stu, and sometime I wish he would wave his paws at me like Stu did. When we picked up Thumper I cried most of the way home with both tears of pain or excitment.

I still get choked up over my past Golden who we put to sleep 10 years ago when I see Goldens in pain. You heart will heal, and it is always ok to cry, and remember.

harrise · 04-10-2008, 03:30 PM

Agreed. Not stupid at all. There's a shelf in the house that never gets cleaned. I cannot for the life of me go near it still. It took a year and half before I could even have a picture on the wall. Then there was the idiotic thing I did by watching Eight Below. So far I feel like it will never end, but there's doggies here that need me now. That's the best thing that could have happened after the worst.

borzoimom · 04-10-2008, 03:32 PM

I have pictures I can not touch either.. Dusted- yes- but no I can not bring myself to take them down..

digits mama · 04-13-2008, 08:52 AM

I cant either Michelle...Digits pictures are still up and I have hired a artist to do a painting of him. When it is finished, It will hang in Digits room then I can begin to replace his pictures in the frames with pictures of my sweeties that are with me now. No where near closure but at least he will always be with me. That is the hardest part....Knowing when to rearrange and move on.

borzoimom · 04-13-2008, 09:01 AM

Hotties giclee is still over the couch. Some days its a form of comfort, other days its hard.. Since it doesn't look like Galina is coming back, yesterday I took her pictures down over the mantle. But it wasnt the same feeling as Hottie mostly because Hottie has passed. A well meaning friend said " well michelle- you knew it was coming as they said he was on borrowed time".. I know she meant well, but knowing with your mind, and feeling it with your heart are two different things...

Mac'N'Roe · 04-13-2008, 10:43 AM

Hey boizoimom, sorry..but worked too many hours the last couple of weeks to keep up with everything (I haven't been on much, if at all). I knew Galina lost her pups...but where is she now? I tried finding it in your posts...but couldn't seem to find the thread about it.

borzoimom · 04-13-2008, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mac'N'Roe

Hey boizoimom, sorry..but worked too many hours the last couple of weeks to keep up with everything (I haven't been on much, if at all). I knew Galina lost her pups...but where is she now? I tried finding it in your posts...but couldn't seem to find the thread about it.

To make a long story short, the co owner disagreed with the decission to spay galina at that time. My vet was set to spay her that sunday. She disagreed. Without her permission, she could not be spayed. Knowing she needed medical attention, but without permission, it was not happening here, Galina was returned to her co owner. Ended up her vet said the same thing. This is not resolved yet..

golden&hovawart · 04-13-2008, 12:35 PM

BM,
You've just gone through 2 hellish weeks so whatever you feel,is normal.
You lost yr heartdog and must give yourself,time to grieve him,propally!.
As for Galina,i know you love her but it's also a different story from Hottie cos she was taken away from you .She is alive but away from you.
In both cases,it will take time for you to get use to it but time will help.
Big cyberhug,Laurie.

Mac'N'Roe · 04-13-2008, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by borzoimom

To make a long story short, the co owner disagreed with the decission to spay galina at that time. My vet was set to spay her that sunday. She disagreed. Without her permission, she could not be spayed. Knowing she needed medical attention, but without permission, it was not happening here, Galina was returned to her co owner. Ended up her vet said the same thing. This is not resolved yet..

I'm so sorry to hear this borzoimom. I saw your thread about co-ownership and what to have in the contract. I knew something was going on with this, but didn't see the final outcome. I am so sorry you are going through this with everything you've been through lately. You are in my thoughts.