I think I'm being haunted

Equest94 · 11-16-2007, 04:46 PM

As some of you may have heard I loss my little maltese, Sasha, this past June. She was hit by a car... things have never been the same since. A week before I went back to college my mom got a new dog, a shepherd-lab mix, Sabina. It's a big change... I really like my new dog, I don't see her often because I live on campus, but she loves me and is so happy when come home. I feel so guilty though. I happy I have a (new) dog, but yet I miss Sasha so much. When I think about it I feel like we got a new dog too soon, but when I come home and play with her I don't feel so sad.

Anyways, Lately I've been having trouble sleeping. When I think about Sasha and look through pictures, I remember all the good times with her. When I go to sleep my found memories turn horrible. I see Sasha. At first I had flashbacks of how she looked when I carried her out of the ditch, how I held her close and cried into her fur, how I refused to let go of her. Now in my nightmares of her she's alive. At first she's happy and playful, but then she gets angry and dies. She either randomly gets killed and it blends into the flashbacks of her death or she kills herself. In my dreams my dead dog commits suicide. This past night, she kept jumping in my pound and would drown herself, I would keep diving after her to save her. She'd be dead, but then would revive only to repeat the process - she would keep drowning herself and I would keep jumping in after her over and over and over again.

I can't stand it anymore. I don't sleep. I miss her terribly, but I thought I was over the fact she died... I finally got to the point where I could remember her for all the happy times...I thought I have found peace, but now I have horrible dreams.

Am I being haunted? Is Sasha mad because we got another dog? Why do I feel this way? Why do I have these dreams? I just want it to stop.

SpeckledBlue · 11-17-2007, 07:03 PM

I dont think i would call it being ''haunted'' i think maybe she is trying to tell you that she is happy that you have a new friend now and that she still loves you and she is and will always be your angel.I know how you feel after i lost my first heeler-over the summer i thought i was gonna go nuts without her but it took time formy heart to heal.It will take time for your heart to heal.She knows you still love her-maybe she is makeing herself knowen in other ways then one.

kaykay · 11-20-2007, 05:39 PM

I think that you are having a problem convincing yourself that your beloved pet has died. She was and will always be a very special part of your life. In time the painful memories and dreams will be replaced by wonderful ones. Love the dog you have now because this dog is with you today and I believe that our pets always come to us at just the right time. We have never gone looking for the pets we have had at our home. The timing just happened and the dog we found really needed us. Think good thoughts, you gave your all to your beloved dog and she would want you to be happy.

LeRoymydog · 11-20-2007, 09:30 PM

My sister's Akita just passed a few months ago, and she, too, have been having terrible dreams about Ane'. Ane is buried in my sister's backyard and my sis is dreaming of Ane' rotting and what-not.

So, if anyone knows anything about this, please let us know...

Jak · 11-20-2007, 10:21 PM

Maybe you should look into seeing a shrink. It seems to me that her passing was very traumatic for you and you were deeply bonded with her. Instead of thinking "I need to get over this", just let things play out. Talk about her, look at pictures, do what you need to. I'd like to think that pets that have passed are still here with us in spirit. Time heals all wounds, and talking always helps wether it be to family, friends, or a proffesional.

KumoES · 11-21-2007, 06:19 AM

The dreams might be guilt related. Feeling guilty for not being able to save her, feeling guilty for having another dog so soon, and feeling guilty for being happy around the new dog. I don't think any dog would begrudge us enjoying the companionship of another after they have passed. Every dog holds a different place in the heart, so having and loving a new dog does not lessen the feelings of love you had for Sasha.

I really second talking to her. I still talk to my Aussie from time to time, just to say I love and miss him.

digits mama · 11-21-2007, 10:15 AM

I am haunted by my Digit also. It helps to write down some things that are important to you. I talk with him also. Every night I go outside and i sit in his favorite spots and I think about him, I cry out to him, I speak to him as if he was still right here. His memory will never leave me.

Anela · 11-21-2007, 05:18 PM

I don't think you are being haunted either, just being paid a visit. Not an uncommon thing.

Anela

JeanninePC99 · 11-21-2007, 05:28 PM

If you really can't sleep, go to the health center at your college/university and talk to someone. They might be able to help you figure things out or use some tecniques to help with that.

Equest94 · 11-21-2007, 07:38 PM

Thank you all who responded. You all gave me very reasonable reasons for why and offered many good ideas for a solution. I really appreciate it

Quote:

Originally Posted by KumoES

The dreams might be guilt related. Feeling guilty for not being able to save her, feeling guilty for having another dog so soon, and feeling guilty for being happy around the new dog. I don't think any dog would begrudge us enjoying the companionship of another after they have passed. Every dog holds a different place in the heart, so having and loving a new dog does not lessen the feelings of love you had for Sasha.

I really second talking to her. I still talk to my Aussie from time to time, just to say I love and miss him.

^^^ I do believe you are right in thinking it is guilt related. I know her death was an accident and therefore is not really my fault, but I still feel as if I wasn't a good person because I didn't/couldn' save her. I regret not being there for her when she needed me the most. My parents feel the same way too. It's just weird...when I think about her, it's all about the pleasant memories, but when I sleep, that's when it turns bad.

Every time I come home, I visit her grave and just talk to her and it does help me feel better...granted that I start crying, lol, but yes...it helps. I was very close to her. She was my first dog... I had her for half of my life... I can't remember growing up without her. She was an absolutely wonderful dog and I know deep down in my heart that she would not want me to be so sad - she would not be angry at me nor would she blame me for anything.

Sabina is a great dog too and she is here for me. It takes so much getting use to though - Sasha (6.4lbs maltese) to Sabina (50lbs Shepherd/Lab) lol!

I told my mom about the nightmares I was having and sure enough she goes and tells my aunt. My aunt believed that me trying to constantly save Sasha was a sign that something was going to happen and that I had to prepare myself to take care of someone....it was my "redemption" for the guilt I felt [to "save" someone]... Sure enough this past weekend I had to rush one of my best friends to the emergency room. She came down with a very violent gastro-infection and as a result of being so sick was extremely dehydrated. It was really horrible, she was in terrible shape... so I brought her in, stayed with her, ran those little errands... nothing major... but I never had a nightmare of Sasha since...

So who knows....maybe my aunt was right(?) - I guess I'll see.

Again thank you to everyone for your suggestions. I hope that those of you who are having the same issue and those who have lost a beloved one soon find peace.

SpeckledBlue · 11-23-2007, 11:51 AM

Yes talking to her will help you out with things...it will also help you understand that she is in a better place now.

Equest94 · 12-09-2007, 10:48 PM

The other night I had another dream...but this time it was pleasant. I dreamed that Sasha was outside, running around my backyard..."hunting" frogs around our pond like she always did and that my current dog, Sabina was with her. Sabina (a dog who hates other dogs) was playing with Sasha and they both got along well. It was so comforting to actually see Sasha all perky and happy...so full of spunk and life... God, I miss her so much.

I think it's a sign...I feel that Sasha told me she accepts Sabina into our family and is happy for us that we found someone to help fill the emptiness she left behind.

north runner · 12-12-2007, 04:21 PM

I also keep hearing my deceased dog's claws on the kitchen floor,think I'm losing my mind!I dont really believe in ghosts or that type of thing but I know what I'm hearing!

Sorry to hear about your friend

Ruby'sMum · 01-29-2008, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaykay

Love the dog you have now because this dog is with you today and I believe that our pets always come to us at just the right time. We have never gone looking for the pets we have had at our home. The timing just happened and the dog we found really needed us. Think good thoughts, you gave your all to your beloved dog and she would want you to be happy.

Thank you so much for this post, KayKay. I too really needed to hear this. Your perspective is just what I needed. I had never thought of it that way.

It's so true that they are a part of our lives at that certain time for a reason. I won't go in to detail about my boy I lost 3 months ago, it's still very hard to talk about, but it's funny how he was with me all through the hardest times of my life. Now I am very happy and settled and I believe the timing was no coincidence.
Also, as sad as it is that he passed away, we adopted our Chow/Shepherd mix from a humane society 10 days later. A wonderful wonderful dog, who was due to be put to sleep 2 days later simply because nobody loved him. My other dog did not die in vain. As much as I wish I could have changed the outcome, we SAVED ANOTHER DOG'S LIFE. This will comfort me always. He is alive now BECAUSE WE LOVE HIM. It doesn't get better than that.