Coal, I miss him so much

natureloverchris · 11-11-2007, 08:31 PM

I have never loved as deeply as I love Coal. On 8/26/07 he died. Coal shared my adventures. He shared my sorrows and my joys. We were together for somewhat over 14 years. All of my adult life, he was with me. I've lost something and no matter how hard I try to write, words won't capture what I had. We hiked together his last day. He had a great out and was quite happy. That night he was acting restless. He didn't seem very sick, but something wasn't quite right. I wondered if he was anxious and hearing or sensing something I was unaware of. He'd had some other bouts like that and I thought, that if he was still unwell in the morning I'd schedule a vet visit. That night I woke to the sound of him collapsing in the hallway. As soon as I got to him I knew things were very bad. I picked him (very hard, I'm small and he was big and in an awkward position) and carried him to the car. I started for the emergancy vet about 25 minutes away. At one point he spasmed and I reached back and grabbed hold of his paw. It was the only thing I could reach. He died then.

Coal had such a gentle nature. Except when it came to bees, then he went nuts. My sweet gentle dog would trample anything to get a bee. He caught a rabbit once. It was a very young, stupid rabbit and it literally ran under Coal's feet. His instinct took over and he pounced. There was the rabbit under his big paws. Coal looked back at me, with this horrified look on his face and then very gently he lifted his paws up. The rabbit scurried off and when it was deeply under the brush, impossible to catch, Coal gave chase. Another time, there was a young boy who was clearly scared of Coal. Coal never looked at him but slowly moved sideways getting closer. I couldn't believe he was doing it. But then the boy started asking questions and I realized what Coal had already figured out. Even though the boy was scared he wanted to make friends. So bit by bit Coal moved closer, taking this careful sideways steps until he was leaning against the boy's leg. Then the boy was petting Coal and Coal was licking the boy.

I have so many more memories I could write; how he was afraid of bubbles, him crossing the river to join my friends, their dogs and I (the river was very shallow but Coal thought he'd crossed a major obstacle and was so proud of himself), how he loved the snow and the beach. Words feel inadequate.

Inga · 11-11-2007, 08:37 PM

Chris, I know the pain you are feeling and the emptiness you feel. I also had to say goodbye to my best friend on November 5th. I have had a lot of dogs and worked with a whole lot more. This dog was so beyond special that their is simply nothing that could describe her. You have some really beautiful pictures as keepsakes. Coal was a stunning dog. They say time heals wounds. Thank God it does not take away the wonderful memories that we have of our special friends, our beloved dogs.

Mdawn · 11-11-2007, 09:56 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. Coal was absolutely beautiful!! Like Inga, I recently lost a beloved friend. My Basset Hound mix passed away October 25 and I miss him so much and I feel his absence everyday. I know that time will make it better and the pain won't be as bad, but I'll always miss him.

I'll keep you and your beautiful Coal in my thoughts...

digits mama · 11-11-2007, 10:24 PM

What a wonderful story and that is only a small bit of what you experienced with him....He was stunning dog and now he is making the rainbow bridge even more beautiful. Hugs to all the above posters

terryjeanne · 11-12-2007, 10:15 PM

That was beautiful. You are so blessed to have had a wonderful life with a heartful of memories.

Keep writing and someday, a long time away, the words will make you smile.

I love the pictures in the snow.

sillylilykitty · 11-12-2007, 10:30 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. Coal sounds like he was an amazing dog. Those are some wonderful pictures you have of him. I wish I was so fortunate to have good pictures of my cat that passed away

Did you ever find out why he died?

natureloverchris · 11-14-2007, 12:12 AM

Awwww thank you all so much for your kind replies. I am so sorry for everyone else who has lost a loved companion. I've been kind of down, I'll come back here when I have more to give.

"I'm so sorry for your loss. Coal sounds like he was an amazing dog. Those are some wonderful pictures you have of him. I wish I was so fortunate to have good pictures of my cat that passed away

Did you ever find out why he died?"

He died of bloat. I guess it's fairly common.

You have the memories of your cat and they may not be as sharp as photos but they are more precious.

I also lost a cat this year. Sweet, gentle Grumbles. She died last March 20th of kidney disease. I miss her quiet warmth too.

Anela · 11-16-2007, 06:36 PM

How can one respond to a devastating loss, one simply cannot.

Two years ago this January I lost my be loved Tara. I had her for almost 14 years, at times I still cry uncontrollably. When I lost her, I had two other dogs, but things were in a complete downward spiral and something just had to be done to reverse what was going on. I was extremely concerned that I was not going to make it. For all practical purposes, the dog had woven herself into every fiber of my body and soul, a severe gaping hole was present in the fabric when she went.

Three months later a 4 month old pup came into my life. The void has been filled, but not the heart. The gaping hole is still there. I still cannot bring myself to get rid of some of her medical records or spread her ashes.

Anela