We had to put Tinder to sleep. Just letting you guys know.

Unshifted

I'm just keeping everyone updated.

He didn't have another seizure or anything but he wasn't doing good. He was sleeping constantly. He was either sleeping (or just laying there) and the only time he would get up would be to pee or to drink. And he'd drink a LOT when he did finally drink. His back legs were really weak..he'd sometimes fall into the sitting position when he was standing. He was being hand fed but still was picky about his food. And his cough went from dry to really wet. I was laying with him a lot today and he would sometimes cough this really wet cough. I had my hand on his back after he did it at one point, and I felt crackling.

I made a vet appointment but the soonest one I could get him was for saturday. I felt like that was way too far off, based on how bad he seemed. Then a few hours after my boyfriend got home from work, Tinder started acting strange. He'd get up to drink water but he'd only look at the water, not drink any. Which, based on how much water he'd been drinking lately, didn't seem normal to me. Then he was pacing around and panting. We were worried he might have another seizure so my boyfriend and I took him to the emergency vet.

The vet told us that he's extremely dehydrated but also it sounded like there might be water in his lungs. She said he was slightly blue. While we were there, his breathing got a lot worse. He was breathing so hard. She gave me all of my options, which were basically to drive him to another place that had more available to them, because she said getting him stable was going to be difficult. She said that is an option though, and if he can get stable, they can try to run other tests on him to figure out what's going on and why things are basically shutting down. The other tests included an MRI, which he would have to be put under for. Or our other option was to put him to sleep.

She had to leave and come back a few times because I just could NOT decide what to do. I guess I felt in my gut that the right thing to do was to put him out of his misery, but I felt like since I had other options, I'd be a bad owner not to take them. My boyfriend and I talked it out but he said ultimately, I had to decide.

Well, while we were in the room alone with him his breathing became really labored. My boyfriend went to get the vet and she said Tinder looked a lot more blue and asked if we should start him on oxygen. I said no, I think it's selfish to put him through all of this. I said that we should put him to sleep.

I've been second guessing myself a lot. I almost feel like a murderer I know that's an awful thing to say, but I feel like I had other options to still try He just seemed so...ugh. He hasn't been like himself in weeks now. But I feel like maybe I could've gotten him treatment and fixed him a little bit...

I'm a little upset about what happened at the vet. While we were spending some time with Tinder before he was put to sleep, the receptionist came in to talk about money with my boyfriend. I know that she needs to do her job, but gosh, can't she wait a little? And then after Tinder was gone (but still in the room with us..we were saying goodbye) the vet said they could make an impression of his paw for me if I wanted. I said that would be nice. But then this young girl came in and started moving him around kind of...harshly. She picked his head up and was moving him, and there was stuff coming out of his mouth Then she asked ME to push his paw into the clay. She said I have to push hard for it to make an imprint. It was just...really weird. She wasn't gentle with his body, really. She seemed too chipper and not to sound mean, but she didn't have much tact.

I know I was overly sensitive because of what had just happened, but the more I think about it, the more it bothers me. I didn't want to see him after she lifted his head up like that. His eyes were still open and he looked so...well, dead. I wasn't rude to her and I didn't say anything, but it's upsetting me now.

Anyway, I'm done venting I guess. I want to thank everyone for their help. I know I'm new, but you guys were good support when I needed it. Thank you.

cshellenberger

You did the BEST you could for him and he was SOOOO lucky to have you in his life. It's natural for you to feel guilt at having to make this decision, but you did the right thing.

Now, take a deep breath and find some good pics of Tinder and post a memorial for him. Remember he awaits you at the bridge!

LOSS OF A DOG
If you've ever known the joyful sound Of barks that fill the air
A sloppy kiss, a friendly paw, A quiet adoring stare
If you've ever had a special friend To share a tear or two,
Or maybe just a wagging tail To lift you when you're blue
If you've ever felt the wrenching pain That only death can send,
Then you have lost Not just a dog You've truly lost a friend.
But God is good and treasures love And there at Heaven's gate
A sloppy kiss, a joyful bark Your precious friend awaits.

Unshifted

Thank you so much. It's so hard to know what's right and wrong when you're so emotionally wrapped up in it...it's nice to hear someone say I did the right thing

cshellenberger

Hon if I could I'd ya a HUGE hug right now! Get some rest, things will look alot better in the morning!

Be sure to stay in touch with us here, it will help the healing process to be around like minds.

LunarFlame

*hugs*

So sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you feel. You did the right thing for Tinder *hugs*

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gingersmom

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Please try to let go of the guilt -- showing your love for your pet is not always about going to the last possible medical extreme. All Tipper knows is that his pain and discomfort faded away, and that's a good thing.

The awkwardness with the receptionist was completely unnecessary, and really inappropriate! I hope you mention it to the vet the next time you go in, or in a short note.

4dogs3cats

Yes you were very emotional...but what did she expect?!?! She HAD to have known you'd be upset, and she should have dealt accordingly. You did nothing wrong and I am so sorry for your loss. We do all we can for them.

Mdawn

I'm so sorry for your loss and you did the right thing. Doing the right thing isn't always easy to do and what is the 'right' choice isn't always clear to us but I hope you gain peace in the knowledge that you did right by your best friend when it counted the most.

Also, like you I would have been just a little upset by the way the vet staff acted. I realized that it is their job and they see things like this everyday, but they need to be reminded that Tinder and (others) are beloved family pets and they should be treated with dignity even after they are gone. It's entirely up to you of course, but if it were me, I'd write a little note saying my feelings on the subject so maybe other people who have to say goodbye won't feel that their pets body are being disrespected.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

alphadoginthehouse

I am so very sorry for the decision you had to make. I have always promoted that to be a truly loving and responsible furr baby parent, you have to know when to let go. You did the right thing, because I think Tinder would have told you to let him go. I have had to make that decision to many times, and I felt guilty, like I was letting them down, but in time I knew it was best for them.

As for the vet staff, it was totally inappropriate. The vet I go to has the best staff. The first time I went to them, a dog had died over a holiday weekend and I was taking her there for a necropsy. I had never met any of them before but Octavia took me in her arms and let me cry. They are a bit more expensive than some places but I love them all. You MUST let the manager of the clinic know of your experience so that it doesn't happen to someone else.

Tinder has gone Over the Rainbow and will be waiting for you. My best to you at this time of sorrow.

Maggpie

I am so very sorry for your loss. You did a very unselfish act today by helping Tinder cross over to a more peaceful place. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time of sorrow.

Mac'N'Roe

I am so sorry for your loss. I am in tears right now for Tinder (that's literal). I can only imagine what you are going through. I"ve never really lost a pet that I remember. I had a dog when I was real little, but I don't remember his passing. Two of my cats (outside cats) wandered off..and I was upset about this...but it's not the same. I'm going to be beside myself when...

You did the right thing and made the right decision. Don't second guess that.

rosemaryninja

I think everyone who has to put their dog to sleep goes through the same guilt that you are feeling now. Everyone will always ask "what if? what if I had tried something else, what if I had spent a bit more money and time to explore every last option?" I think this is really the most natural response. But you have to look at the big picture, look at things realistically, and ask yourself: if Tinder had undergone the MRI scan, done all the tests and tried to find an alternative solution, would he have resumed the quality of life that he once enjoyed? Chances are, he wouldn't, and the tests and whatever they diagnosed would just have prolonged the kind of life that you described in his last days.

The question is not "when have all my options run out?" but "when is it worth it, for HIM, to prolong his life?" I don't want to come across as harsh, and I certainly don't wish to offend anyone, but I think a lot of the guilt and second-guessing you're feeling now stems from the fact that you see euthanasia as an absolute last resort -- when in fact, it's sometimes the kinder thing you can do for a dog.

I am so sorry for your loss, and can only imagine the grief you must be going through right now. Don't wallow in your guilt; instead, try to focus on the good times you had with Tinder and the happiness that you provided each other with. He is running free of suffering now. RIP Tinder.

cshellenberger

Very well said!!!

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