Dog with cancer: hard choice

dani715 · 10-23-2006, 08:23 PM

So our 11 year old mixed breed (whom i love more than life!)

was diagnosed with fluid in her lungs and aggressive carcinomatosis meaning the cancer is lining her body cavity and has spread pretty far. After they drained the fluid she is back to normal running, eating like a pig, and acting like her crazy loveable self !

They said we can either do an open chest surgery followed by chemo or just drain fluid periodically to make her comfortable and then euthanize her. It is hard to belive she is dying when sh elooks and acts so happy. Does anyone have any info or similar situations?

blackgavotte · 10-24-2006, 09:20 AM

If it were my dog I would not be putting her through chemo nor surgery. The chest drainage can help her possibly for some time yet. Chemo for dogs usually just buys them a bit more time, if any, it does not cure them. Its terribly expensive and no dog wants to go through the treatment either, it usually means a full day or at least several hours in the clinic while the chemo is administered through an I.V., and dogs don't want to stay there that long. You need to make peace that her life is coming to its end. In my years of working in vet clinics I consistently saw that people were reluctant to put their dogs down when they should, they hung on longer than they should have because they wanted to keep the dog around for their sakes really. Don't let her get to the stage where she is worried, having more bad days than good ones, or in pain. And be sure that when that sad day comes, you stay with her in the room, holding her head, hugging her, whatever, as she is euthanized. I know that's hard but its not the time to leave her with strangers and walk away from her.

Beckster258 · 10-24-2006, 10:20 AM

I completely agree. I had to make the decision 2 months ago to put my dog down, and although it was hard, I had to do what I thought was right for HER, even though it was terrible for me. I completely agree with blackgavotte that her last days should be happy with those she loves, not miserable with strangers. My thoughts are with you.

dani715 · 10-24-2006, 06:58 PM

Thnk you so much for your replies. I agreed with you but then began to second guess that I was not doing "everything" for her but now I see that letting her go peacefully is actually doing everything for her. Should we try the "alternative" diets and special foods to help her or let her eat the things she loves? It is so weird she is acting well and eats like a pig. How will I know when it is time? If she has more bad than good days? So far since the drainage she has had all good days!

Would you have any idea if given her diagnosis she has weeks or months? Thanks again so much

Dulce · 10-25-2006, 01:44 AM

11 years is along time to live for ANY dog. SHe's lived a full, happy life! You don't want her to end her life in pain, and misery.

Letting her go is the best decision you can make. She won't hurt anymore, and she won't have to go thru such an awful surgery!

Good for you for being so strong, I know I'd be a basket case, and couldn't care the thought of living without my dog. But in the end, your dog will thank you. And you will see her again

dani715 · 10-26-2006, 10:59 PM

Thank you for your kind words of sympathy and encouragement. We ended our babies brave battle at 8:30 tonight. I have cried and cried until I can cry no more. I miss her and I love her and this pain will pass and be replaced by memories of the good times we shared. At least that is what I am telling myself.

blackgavotte · 10-27-2006, 08:43 AM

You have my condolences, I know this is such a hard time for you. I am sure you did the right, and brave thing for her. So many people just drag these decisions on and on, meanwhile the dog is not healthy, they can be worried because they feel this heaviness of the chest, they can be in pain though they won't show it until its excruciating, still people keep them going for their own sakes. I always wondered why people would choose to let an animal get to that point of sickness, why not let them go before their last days are so bad? I wish everyone would be as kind and loving to their animals, and I, for what its worth, absolutely believe we will see our pets again, on the other side.

Beckster258 · 10-27-2006, 11:57 AM

I'm sorry Dani. I know how you feel! It has been about 10 weeks since I had to put my god down, and although I know this won't help you now, it does get easier. I still think of her everyday and wish that she was here, but I know that I did the right thing for her, as you did for your dog. I'm here to talk if you'd like......

Dulce · 10-27-2006, 11:15 PM

I'm sorry, but I'm fighting the tears myself. Good for you for doing the right thing. I know it's hard. I'm not going to sit here and ttell you it's easy, and that you'll move on soon because you won't. It's an awful feeling. Butyour dog is thanking you as we speak.

I'm so proud of you for doing the right thing. I want to thank you SO much for sharing your story with us, I really appreciate it. I got all choked up

Hang in there! You're a wonderful person!

dani715 · 10-29-2006, 05:56 PM

I know logically that I did the right thing but I have so many emotions and guilt is one of the most intense. I led her out our backdoor on what she thought was a walk only to see the vet there. I feel like I led her to her death. Like it was my job to protect her and I let her down. It broke my heart when she sort of fell after the sedative began to take effect. I will never forget that. He did not even push 1/4 of the medicine when her heart stopped....that is how ready she was. I had been trying to get her to kiss my face for a few days (she was not a big face kisser) and as the sedative took effect she came over and licked my face. What was she saying? I also feel guilty because I knwo I will be okay and despite everything and my sadness that my life will go on. I feel guilty for loving my other dogs and laughing at funny things. I feel guilty for even considering getting a puppy and I feel guilty that I am not devastated enough. This sucks and I really miss her. For eleven years she was my baby and my best friend.

dani715 · 10-29-2006, 07:36 PM

okay i take it back i'm not okay right now. Why does it seem to come in waves? I was doing well spendnig time with my husband thinking of all the good times with our dog then we went and got soe lunch I came home and BAM! After crying for like 15 minutes I am okay again.....

Dulce · 10-30-2006, 12:12 AM

It's normal, don't worry about it. Don't hold back any emotion, let it all out. If it comes out in increments, then let it. It's ok to cry, it's ok to try and seek closer.

Crying will give you closer, and release your anger, fear, sadness, and frustration. If it seems like when you go out, you feel ok, go out more! Get your mind off of it. Or, set a time each day where you grieve. Like, "At 4:30, I'm going to cry for 'Fluffy'" Does that make any sense?

Dulce · 10-30-2006, 12:17 AM

You ARE devistated, look at what you're typing. You are in such pain because you had to let your baby go. She WANTS you to go on, and live your life, and love your other dogs twice as much. You need to put all of your energy into your other animals now.

She licked your face as if to say "Thank you mom, I love you, I will see you soon" She was telling you it was ok, and to let her go.

I'm here if you need me

Beckster258 · 10-30-2006, 11:31 AM

Dani, I agree with Dulce. Whenever you feel the urge to cry over it, go ahead! Its completely normal, and it is how it has been for me. I'd be fine one minute, and then next, I'm a total wreck. The stupidest little thing would set me off, and I'd cry for hours. I remember feeling alot of guilt too, and that's also a normal part of grieving. I hope you find comfort in knowing that you did the right thing for your dog, and that you didn't prolong her suffering for your own sake. I think its very sweet that she licked your face, I think she was telling you that it was OK. I know exactly how you feel and am here to talk if you need to.

rmangers22 · 10-30-2006, 04:15 PM

I know how you feel... I honestly do. And I am crying for you right now because it brings back feelings so deep in me. I went through the same thing 3 years agol I had to put my Lhasa Apso down Macie. We were best friends. I got her when I was 24 2 days after I moved out into my own place when I left my parents. We did everything together. So at 30 when I got married and we moved to a new house, she was diagnosed w/ Cushings and Lyme Disease. I kept her comfortable the best I could and when that dreadful day came, she was spry and perky..She made me feel like I was doing the wrong thing. Being she was little I held her when the injection was given and I can to this day still feel her little heart stop beating in my hand. I told my husband NEVER let me get another animal. I can't possibly go through this again. But after 3 months he told me I needed to get another pet or he was going to leave me because I am not meant to be without paws and fur around the house. I went and got a brother & sister, Vinnie & Frankie and they are my little loves. They will never take the place of her, how do you replace a child? But I know I have the same amount of love for them in my heart and her memory. I didn't replace her. In fact I really think she was reincarnated into Vinnnie. Funny how things work. It does get easier but the pain doesn't completely go away. At least it hasn't for me. I am not depressed over it but I miss her and that hurts. But I know I could not let her stay on this earth for me... thats not fair. Your job was to protect her and you did. You protected her from suffering. She was with who she loved the most. You were the last face she saw. She new you loved her. You did your job as a mom. So cry when you want, its helpful in the healing. and little by little, everyday it will get a little easier. Don't think for one second you are different. We have all suffered loss at one time or another whether it be human or animal. You have more love in you to give I am sure. You would be surprised what a little puppy breath can do for a person.